Once I Was
by MylesowaHudson
Summary: Malec ofc, Magnus is trying to save the love of his life, at the same time thinking about their relationship - we see the whole story and nothing is like it seems. Hope you'll enjoy it. I DO NOT OWN CHARACTERS.
1. Chapter 1

**PROLOGUE**

Alexander is lying on the bed in his room in the Institute. His breath is heavy, uneven, heart beats like a hammer, body is afire and the blood is boiling in his veins. Alec is naked from the waist up. The white sheet underneath him is stained with blood, ash and sweat brought from the battlefield. I'm sitting with him like it's nothing special, like all of these horrible things never happened to us.

I'm combing my fingers through his unruly wisps and softly moved my hand which makes his fever little bit lighter. Alec is injured, exhausted and balancing between life and death. Sounds funny that even now, if he knew who's sitting with him, he would take his seraphic sword and pierce my heart without any second thoughts. Even if this will cost his life. _My dear._

He looks so peaceful and purely when he sleeps. Nothing from bloodthirsty soldier on the battlefield or thoughtful partner as I remembered him.

 _Alexander... Alec. My Alec._

I'm focusing once again and healing his wounds, all damages inside and outside his body. I can fix everything. Fine, maybe... Skipping heartbroken.

I put my hand on his chest, feeling fluttering under my fingers. Alec's heart's still beating, although he said million times it does it just for me.

 _And now I'm gone and it's still beating. Still._

I decide not to touch him. I never forget about respect to Alexander as a person, I always put it into a first place in our relationships... _There's no 'our relationships', Magnus._

I'm giving him a gentle kiss on his chapped lips and coming back to saving little Shadowhunter's life. He'll get a second chance. Well, maybe... Maybe not everything is completely lost for me either?

 **CHAPTER 1**

„ **Once I was an old warlock, tired of living alone**

 **Once I was a young Shadowhunter who never fell in love"**

\- I don't know, Sophie, I'm 70 already, I saw everything and if I had not my kids and grandchildren I'd become crazy because of boredom... - I heard a small piece of conversation between two old ladies. I snorted softly laughing. She saw everything in her 70 years old life... What an 800 years old warlock should say? I was in every place on earth, I slept with every creature which exist (don't count sirens, they always stink like seaweed), I learned about 30 languages... And I did couple things I prefer not to remember. Not worth it.

Yup. I, Magnus Bane, hate my immortality. I guess mostly because of the fact it's boring.

Apart from the obvious fact that I visited everything what was able to visit, for almost a hundred years I didn't feel this special sparkle in my heart called love. No one impressed me enough. I started wondering maybe I'm changing into one of these cold, statuesque warlocks whose sitting in their apartments, studying ancient books with magic, despise everyone and think that conversation is just a waste of their precious time. The time. The curse of my life. Now I'm going to use a little bit, coming for my meeting with Maryse and rest of the Lightwoods. They were smart enough and chose the best, most stylish warlock in New York to their „sensitive issue", by the way released me from boredom and routine. Hope it's something interesting.

It turned out Institute was bigger than I thought, that's why I was thanking in my heart that they send this girl to lead me to Maryse.

\- I'm Isabelle – she said, smiling

\- Oh – _damn, of course. She's Maryse's daughter, fool warlock!_

\- Magnus Bane, nice to meet you.

\- I know who you are, everybody knows you, you always throw the best parties in New York!

\- Don't remember inviting a Shadowhunter – I smiled to her a little bit – How do you know?

\- Seelies are invited very ofter – Izzy said quickly. _Too quickly –_ Mom's waiting for you.

\- Thanks, Isabelle – I went to the library and saw Maryse sitting on the chair.

\- Magnus – her voice like ice – You're not late? What a surprise.

\- Nice to see you to, Maryse – I sat opposite to her – So?

\- We have a problem.

\- Interesting, I thought you invited me for coffe and biscuits – I snorted.

\- Stop. It's serious.

\- Fine, here to listen.

\- I found something we need and... Actually it belonged to you. It's a book.

\- Okay, what kind of book?

\- The White Book one?

\- What?! - I screamed – Finally, I was sure it's gone forever! I want it – I said tough

\- We want it too. We need it to help Max.

\- So you're not gonna give it to me?

\- You'll get the book. But first, we have to take it and second, help Max.

\- What's the problem then?

\- The owner of a book is a problem. It's Camille.

\- THIS Camille? - _oh my..._

\- Unfortunately yes. That's why I wanna ask for help in getting the book back.

\- And you think Camille's just gonna give you this?

\- To this I need you, you two were...

\- Don't...

\- ...very close.

\- She hates me now.

\- Oh please, Magnus. You're a powerful warlock.

\- And she's a powerful vampire. We have to give her something instead. She can't use the book, she keeps it just for benefits. Camille is smart, she knows she's gonna get something good for a book.

\- But what can we give her?

\- I have an idea... You know, once... - then the library doors suddenly open and a boy came into the room. He was tall, his hair black and big eyes wide open, dark and beautiful, the lips soft and...

\- What are you doing here, Alec? - Maryse asked sharply – Don't you have training?

\- I... I do I just... - he looked at me. I winked to him and he immediately blushed and looked away. _Oh my sweet Lord that was priceless..._

\- Don't yell at him, Maryse - I approached to the boy – I'm Magnus.

\- Alec... - he said quietly, shaking my hand. I had an opportunity to watch his face very closely. Alec was beautiful in the best way he could be.

\- Is it your full name? Alec?

\- Actually it's Alexander but I don't like it. Only mom calls me like that.

\- Sounds good. Alexander. It's very beautiful name, ya know? To be honest... - I moved little bit closer and whispered just for him – It's as beautiful as you are – Alec's face changed color for deep red what I recognized as a good sign. I sat back on the chair and asked:

\- So?

\- Mum... - Alec stares at the floor, crushing down of his shirt – I'm... Just... Isabelle needs you in her room, I don't know why...

\- Can you stay with Magnus for a minute? I'll be back soon.

\- Sure – when Maryse went out, I looked at Alec and asked:

\- How old are you?

\- I'm 19 – he said very insecure

\- Really? You look older.

\- Mh – he murmured, didn't know what to say

\- Tell me something about yourself, can you?

\- Uhm... So... I like using my bow and quiver.

\- So you are an archer?

\- Yeah.

\- A very shy archer.

\- I'm not... I...

\- It's fine – I smiled – What about hobby? You have one?

\- I'm a Shadowhunter.

\- And I'm a warlock, so nice – I saw him laughing for a sec – You're Shadowhunter and?

\- Don't have time for hobby.

\- Got it... You have sister, do you?

\- Yes, Isabelle. And two brothers, Jace and Max.

\- Is it nice to have siblings?

\- Sometimes. Depends on a lot of things.

\- Sure. But mostly you like having them?

\- I do. It's fun – his eyes still focused on the floor.

\- Wanna see something?

\- What? - I snapped my fingers and suddenly a little cat was rubbing around Alec's leg. He sighed in amazement and touched the cat.

\- It's just a piece of glamour. It's not real – I explained

\- I know.

\- You like it?

\- Pretty. I like cats.

\- Do you? Me either. I have one, his name's Chairman Meow.

\- How?

\- Chairman Meow.

\- I have a cat too. Church. He doesn't like people very much.

\- Mine too, actually I think he hates everything and everyone and didn't kill me yet because of a package with Whiskas in my kitchen – this time Alexander seriously laughed, loudly and very sweet. I was getting ready to ask him about something else but then Maryse came and said:

\- You are free to go, Alec, thanks.

\- Of course – he looked at me last time and left the library. I had enough time to snap and make little piece of paper with my number appeared in Alec's pocket. Hope he'll find it.

\- So how's Izzy? - I said without much interest

\- She's fine. So, you were saying about a way to exchange with Camille?

\- Hey, buddy, wait! - I heard Jace's voice behind me – Where were you so long?

\- I was with... Magnus Bane.

\- This warlock mom invited to help?

\- Yup, this one.

\- And that's why you're blushing so hard? - he joked and giggled.

\- No, are you crazy? I... was... running.

\- Alec, you have a perfect form, you never get tired while running.

\- Gosh, Jace, we have a lot of stairs here and actually it's so far away from the library and...

\- Okay, okay – Jace was laughing so hard – I'm joking.

\- Not funny – I murmured – Going to take a shower before dinner, see ya – I went to my room and took of the shirt and jeans. Suddenly something small fell out of my pocket. I grabbed it and noticed it's a number. And a name. Magnus Bane. Why did he give me his number? I shook my head and went to the bathroom. In my mind was still this tiny, magical cat he conjured up for me and his catlike gold-green eyes. Deep and clear. _Alec, stop it. You can't do things like these. You have to focus on work, trainings and demon hunting. Focus!_

When I was done with my shower and stuff I took a little piece of paper and threw it away. I don't need a distraction. Then I heard someone knocking on my door.

\- Who's this?

\- Me, Izzy.

\- Come in – I put on some fresh clothes and sent her a little smile – What's up?

\- Fine, bored and have some great news!

\- Go on.

\- You know this warlock, Magnus, right?

\- I met him today.

\- Yes, okay, so you know he gave me a invitation to one of his famous parties, actually it's a invitation for me, Jace and you and you know when he was leaving he was asking me about you and..

\- What? - I interrupted her in mid-sentence – What did you tell him about me?

\- Nothing, just that you are very quiet, very smart, hard working, always follow the rules and you are very good looking – her grin was little bit irritating – But the last one he saw by himself.

\- Why would he care about me?

\- Maybe you are attracted to him?

\- Are you insane?! I'm not...

\- Alec – she touched my shoulder – You forget I know your little secret. And it's fine! Do not even try to tell me you're not lonely. Jace has Clary what makes you very jealous...

\- Izzy...

\- Shut up, I'm talking right now.

\- Fine.

\- I have Simon... And you are lonely.

\- I don't need anyone. Emotions are just a distraction.

\- Please – she laid down on her back – Sometimes love is the only thing makes you stronger or alive.

\- I don't need it, Isabelle. I'm fine on my own.

\- Did he give you his number?

\- No...

\- Liar! I know he did. He told me. What did you do with it?

\- Not your business.

\- Alec! - she was irritated – You meet a guy who is definitely interested about you, he gives you his number and you doing this?!

\- Don't yell at me... I don't even know him...

\- That's why he gave you the number, cupcake – she stroked my hair – Now's your move. But – she sat straight – What do you think about him?

\- Uhm... he's... special.

\- Wow, that's all?

\- Very sparkling.

\- And...?

\- I dunno, we were talking maybe for 3 minutes! But he conjured up a magic cat for me. That was really pretty.

\- I rather know is he pretty for you?

\- I'm... I like his eyes. Like cat's.

\- Nice – she embraced me and looked into my eyes – Call him.

\- No way...

\- Alec!

\- No.

\- Alec.

\- Izzy.

\- I'm begging...

\- No!

\- Please.

\- I don't want to!

\- Don't you? - Isabelle raised one eyebrow – Your blush tells me something opposite – I hid my face in hands – Be honest with me, Alec. I'm the only one you can talk with about those stuff, you know that.

\- But... I'm... He's not gonna like me...

\- What? Why?

\- I'm boring...

\- Are you crazy? - she grabbed my chin and lifted my head – You are perfect, very sweet and very handsome. And he already likes you. I know what I'm saying, big brother.

\- So... I should call him...?

\- Yes. You have to.

\- Not today.

\- Okay, but do it tomorrow and tell me everything right after. Even if it doesn't work out then at least you'll know you tried.

\- Fine. Going to sleep?

\- I guess, I'm so tired.

\- So good night – I kissed her on forehead – Have a nice dreams!

\- You too – she winked and left my room.

While I was trying to fall asleep I couldn't stop thinking about that Magnus. Finally, at 2 am I got up from bed, took out the Bane's number and texted him:

 **2:03 AM**

 **To: Magnus Bane**

 **Hi, it's Alec. Can I call you later, I mean tonight?**

I got reply after couple minutes:

 **2:09 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Sure :) I'm waiting. Goodnight.**

 **2:11 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Night**

After that my eyelids closed immediately and I finally fell asleep.

Okay this is prologue and chapter 1 :) What do you guys think? Is it a good idea for a story?

And I have a question - is it a way publish stories without editing it? I mean... I write in OpenOffice where conversation looks like this:

 _\- Hey_

 _\- Hi!_

And when I upload it here it's:

 _Hello_

 _Hi!_

No "-" - how to fix it?

MylesowaHudson


	2. Chapter 2

**Soooo, here we are with chapter 2!** Those lines mean changing POV, once it's Magnus' and then Alec's :) I wanted to do sth like * * * but when I paste it here from my Office it disappears so... Yup. Enjoy and let me know if you like it!

* * *

 **CHAPTER 2**

„ **Once I was brave enough to talk to you"**

When I woke up in the morning I realized that I have so many things to do that I don't feel getting out of bed right now. But my stomach felt different so I was literally forced to get up. Chairman Meow came to me and started to meow.

\- You're hungry too, huh? Maybe some music first? - I snapped and a music from the radio began to play – Better. You know, Chairman, Alexander will call me tonight! He texted me in the middle of the night and said that. Hope he will really do that. You have no idea how cute he was yesterday when he was blushing! - Chairman Meow found it is not as interesting as his Whiskas and showed me his tail so I just laughed and started making myself some breakfast.

After that I opened my safety box and took a necklace Camille could want from the book. It was a very old necklace and it belonged to her in XIV century so she's probably gonna exchange with me. Our meeting was planned at 2 pm so I had a lot of free time. I decided to text Alexander.

 **11:12 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Your „calling plans" still valid?**

 **11:20 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Sure**

 **11:21 AM**

 **To Alec:**

 **Nice, can't wait :) U seem sympathetic, Alexander**

 **11:23 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **It's Alec**

 **11:26 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **I like your full name**

 **11:28 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Let it be. Gotta go**

 **11:30 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Have fun whatever u r gonna do. Hear ya 2night :)**

 _He is so cute and shy, it's adorable. And, oh God, Alec is the most beautiful person I saw in my whole life! Wish I could get to know him a little bit more, maybe he'll let me someday._

I watched an episode of „Project runaway" and finally came to the Institute.

Maryse was waiting for me, and what's best, Jace and Alec were with her.

\- Magnus – she nodded her head in greeting – My sons are coming with us, for protection.

\- I'm a warlock - I smiled with irony – I'll be fine on my own.

\- Better more protection than nothing.

\- You're gonna let your beautiful Alec and smart Jace expose themselves to danger? – I was teasing with her. I noticed (with pleasure) Alexander blushed after I said „beautiful".

\- Don't be ridiculous, they're are great.

\- Of course they are, especially one of them – I winked to Alec who turned his gaze – Can we go? I have better things to do than talking with my ex.

\- Sure, let's use the portal. Magnus, could you?

\- You are gonna pay me so much for this – I sighed and created the portal – Alec! I want you to come first – he did it without any word.

When we came to Hotel DuMort Camille was already waiting for us.

\- Magnus Bane... Who would have thought?

\- Camille. This is Maryse, Alexander and Jace Lightwoods.

\- I know. I've heard about what you want, now you're here and what do you have to offer?

\- This – I showed her a necklace waiting for her opinion. Her eyes start glowing.

\- God I lost it so long time ago... I like this necklace. It reminds me of the good times.

\- So you agree for the offer? Book for jewelry?

\- Not so sure... - she was faking indecision – It's not enough – she said finally.

\- Are you kidding me? - I asked furiously – What can you want more?!

\- There's something... - she looked at Alec – I want his bow and quiver - dark Shadowhunter's eyes suddenly wide open with fear inside.

\- No – I stood in front of him – You're not gonna get it. It's Alec's property. You're gonna get the necklace, I'm gonna get the book, it's useless for you anyway! - she smiled in a coldest way she can.

\- Oh Magnus... A Shadowhunter? Your taste is getting worse every time we meet – Camille was so sarcastic – What's next, a human?

\- Give me that damn book!

\- Fine – she rolled her eyes, took the necklace and gave me a White Book – Have fun with... this – she laughed mischievously and disappeared.

\- So here we are, this is the book and it's mine now – I said, holding the book close and tight

\- Not until you help us.

\- Got it – I opened it and grinned – Have to try it. Oh no...

\- What? - Jace asked

\- It's protected by a lot of strong witchcrafts. It's gonna take a while to remove them. You have to give me some time. I'll work with that.

\- Fine, I'll send Alec for you when you finish.

\- It's gonna be a pleasure for me – I said loudly, looking straight into Alexander's eyes – Now I'm just gonna go home and... get ready for tonight. I'm waiting for something special so excuse me but I gotta go. I'll text you, Maryse, bye! - I snapped and showed up in my sweet apartment. Now, Magnus, you should work on your flirt...

* * *

I was walking in my room nerviously. I've never been so stressed before. It's 9 pm and I'm trying to call Magnus, but I already tried 3 times and freaked out. _Be a man, it's just a warlock._

\- Okay, Alec, let's do this. After couple beeps I heard deep, sweet voice:

\- Hello?

\- Uhm... Hi... It's Alec...

\- Alexander! I thought you changed your mind about the call...

\- No, I just... I don't know.

\- So... How are you?

\- Fine. I have to ask you about something...

\- Sure, what's this?

\- Today at Camille's... Why did you defend me?

\- Because you told me you're and archer so I thought your bow and quiver must be very precious to you and... couldn't let Camille take them from you.

\- They are... Thanks.

\- I'm happy you called – his voice became softly and gentle – It's so nice to hear your sweet voice.

\- My voice isn't sweet... - I murmured, blushing very hard.

\- Are your cheeks red already or I have to try more? - I felt heat when caught the flirtatious note in his voice. Didn't know what to say, my head completely empty – Alexander?

\- Yeah, sorry... I... I'm... I'm here.

\- Good. I just wanted to ask you... Do you wanna go on the drink sometime?

\- Sounds fun... When?

\- Maybe now? Are you free tonight?

\- Uhm... Actually... I guess...

\- You can say 'no', Alexander – he almost whispered – It's okay

\- No, I wanna go!

\- Now?

\- Sure...?

\- So... Maybe you can come to my place and we'll go somewhere together?

\- Okay. Where do you live? - he gave me his address and said:

\- See ya in a moment, sweetie.

\- Oh... umh... yeah. Bye – I ended a call and I ran as fast as I could to Izzy's room.

\- Isabelle! - I panted, breathing very fast – I need your help.

\- What's going on?

\- I'm... going.

\- Where?

\- Magnus asked me out.

\- ALREADY?! - she screamed and jumped into my arms – Oh my God, is it a date?

\- No! It's just a meeting but... I dunno what to wear...

\- You came to right person, big bro, come on, Magnus will die when he sees you!

* * *

Getting ready wasn't as long as I wanted so now I'm sitting in my kitchen, dying of fear. _I'm more than 800 years, how can I be afraid of meeting with a 19 years old Shadowhunter? I shouldn't but I am. Ough. What if he's not gonna like me? What if..._

I heard a doorbell so I came to open. And there was Alexander, looking cute and nervous.

\- Hi – he said, looking on the floor

\- Hi, Alec. Nice to see you again. I'll take my jacket and we can go.

\- Where?

\- To the club, for best drinks ever.

\- You know, I'm... - he was squeezing a piece of his shirt – I'm not very party type.

\- Fine – I smiled to him and touched his shoulder – We can stay at my place.

\- O... okay – he nodded and came to my apartment – You have lovely loft.

\- Thanks. Give me your jacket... exactly – I hang it on hatrack – Let's go to the living room. You like fireplaces?

\- Sure – I snapped my fingers and in my fireplace the fire began to burn

\- What are you drinking?

\- I have no clue, make me what you think is the best.

\- Not a problem, but please, Alec, have a sit. Oh and... - I saw my cat – This is Chairman Meow, watch out, he hates strangers.

\- I don't think so, look – Chairman jumped onto Alec's laps and fell asleep. A Shadowhunter started to stroke him gentle.

\- Oh – I was surprised – You have to be special, Alexander – Here – I gave him an elegant glass of drink and snapped making little blue sparkles glowing inside the glass. I also took my drink and said – To us – I was watching him drinking. He winced a little bit which made me laugh.

\- What? - he asked, confused

\- You're so cute, Alec – I smiled – Is it the first time you're drinking?

\- No, Jace already gave me a beer and vodka but that was awful. And this... - he sipped – This is good.

\- Should I say thanks?

\- Maybe you should make me another one – he joked, making me laugh again.

\- Okay, let's talk – we both sat on the couch – So, Alec... Maybe you can tell me something good?

\- Like what?

\- Like... do you have someone? - he choked his drink

\- What? No! I don't!

\- Good.

\- Why are you asking?

\- Don't you know?

\- N... no.

\- I like you... Alexander – I moved a little bit closer to him – And you are a very sweet boy.

\- Wow... I'm... I don't know what to say...

\- You don't have to say anything – I touched his cheek and he blushed immediately – Wanna watch a movie?

\- Yeah... yeah – he leaned back against the backrest and sipped his drink.

\- What kind of movies do you like?

\- Action – Alec said after short thinking – Or fantasy.

\- Saw _Hobbit_?

\- No.

\- So it's perfect. You prefer popcorn or chips?

\- Popcorn I guess – just a tiny hand move and a bowl with popcorn was between us on the couch

\- Ready? - I asked. He smiled ( _God, finally)_ and nodded.

\- Let's watch.

Alec was a very good company to watch movies with. He doesn't talk all the time, he sits quietly and he really cares about what's going on.

\- Did you like it? - I asked after watching.

\- Yes! Of course! One of the best movies I saw!

\- I'm glad you're saying this. Wanna stay a little longer?

\- Uhm... No, I should... I mean yes... But I should probably come back to the Institute, it's little late...

\- Do you mind if I walk you?

\- No, of course not – we left the apartment together, our arms touching softly.

\- I hope it's not our last meeting, what do you think?

\- I was having fun tonight – he admitted

\- That's good.

\- Magnus?

\- Hm?

\- How's it even possible that you like me?

\- What? - _wait, Alec, how many drinks did you get from me?_

\- I mean... Look. I'm boring. I don't have a hobby, I don't do anything special, I'm not even in relationship... - the only thing I wanted to do was shut him up with a gentle kiss but I didn't even try. I can't lose his trust.

\- Alexander – I took his hand and looked into his beautiful eyes – You are not boring. I just spent couple hours with you and "boring" is the last thing I can say about you. Remember, hobby or anything like this don't define you – we were definitely too close – It's all about your heart, your soul and the way you live.

\- Thank you – he said quietly and moved up. However, he didn't drink as much as I thought.

\- You're welcome – we came back to walking, but our fingers were still together for a minute. Then Alec looked at his hand and quickly took it and put into his pocket. I sighed softly – Okay, there's Institute. Thanks that you came and... will you call me soon? - I asked with hope

\- Thanks for inviting me. Yeah, I'll call... I will.

\- So goodnight, Alexander.

\- Goodnight – he whispered, sent me a very long look and entered the building.

* * *

 **1:08 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Do u like classical music?**

I got this text while trying to fall asleep. I decided to answer:

 **1:12 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I do, why?**

 **1:13 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Bc I've got tickets to the concert if u wanna go with me.**

 **1:15 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **When?**

 **1:20 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Saturday night.**

 **1:22 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Can't**

 **1:24 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Why?**

 **1:25 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **What would I say to my mom?**

 **1:27 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Dunno, that u r meeting me?**

 **1:30 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **She doesn't know... u know.**

 **1:32 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Don't you have siblings? Can't they cover off you for one night?**

 **1:35 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I'll let u know**

 **1:37 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Just call me instead of texting**

 **1:40 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Why?**

 **1:43 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Idk I think I just wanna hear your voice again**

 **1:46 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Do u want me to stop this? Just tell me**

 **1:50 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **No. I don't want u to stop.**

 **1:52 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Anyone asked u where were u for so long? ;)**

 **1:55 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Nope**

 **1:56 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Well I should let u sleep**

 **1:57 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Can't**

 **1:59 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **What happened?**

 **2:01 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Too much thinking I guess**

 **2:03 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **'Bout?**

 **2:05 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Stuff.**

 **2:07 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Got it ;) Training 2morrow?**

 **2:09 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Yup. 9 am, I'm gonna be exhausted.**

 **2:10 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **If I was there I'd help u with falling asleep**

 **2:12 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **How?**

 **2:14 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Magic, Alexander. Magical magic.**

" _You're magical..."_ I said to myself and blushed.

 **2:16 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Ur magic doesn't work for the distance? Lame**

 **2:18 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Watch yourself ;)**

 **2:20 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Ish, should I be scared?**

 **2:22 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Maybe**

 **2:23 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Go to sleep, Alec**

 **2:25 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Gonna try. Gnight**

 **2:27 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **:)**


	3. Chapter 3

**CHAPTER 3**

" **Once I was a guy who couldn't stop thinking"**

For last few days I was working on The White Book to take of the glamour but that was harder than I thought, also Alec didn't call me yet and it's Friday and I still don't know what about this concert tomorrow and ough I'm freaking out. Lucky for me my best friend Ragnor just came to New York and decided to meet me in my apartment.

\- So, Mags, tell me about your boy!

\- He's not my boy... We just met. His name's Alexander, he's 19, he is an archer, a Shadowhunter...

\- Wait. This Alexander? Lightwood?

\- Yup, why?

\- Are you insane?

\- What?

\- His parents are very important members of the Clave. What do you think are they gonna do when his son will destroy an honour of the Lightwoods because of hanging out with a Downworlder, GUY?!

\- We're not hanging out, Ragnor. He was at my place once, we were watching a movie and that's all. He's shy, I respect that.

\- It's not good idea.

\- Maybe. But I care about him. He is gorgeous, really!

\- I believe. Your type?

\- Uhm?

\- Dark hair, big and dark eyes, protruding cheekbones...

\- Yes. Yes. Alec is beautiful and... - then my phone rang – Oh my Lord, that's him, have to take this, sorry! - I went to my bedroom, used silencing glamour and said with happiness:

\- Alec!

\- Hi.

\- How are you?

\- Nice, and you?

\- Happy, my friend came to visit me. What about tomorrow? Can you make it?

\- Izzy's gonna hide me from my mom, so yes.

\- And then we can... - I choked, having Ragnor's words in my mind _"what_ _are his parents gonna do when their son will destroy an honor of the Lightwoods because of hanging out with a Downworlder?"_ – Nevermind, I'll come for you at 7 pm, can be?

\- Sure. Yhm, Magnus...?

\- Yes?

\- How's work with the book?

\- Tougher than I thought.

\- May I... help? Somehow...? - _sure, candy, I'd love that_

\- I don't think so, sorry

\- Oh... - hesitation in his voice – I thought... doesn't matter.

\- Alec...

\- What?

\- I have to tell you something.

\- Go ahead.

\- It's a... look. I like you. And I like hanging out with you, I mean we did it once but it was awesome, so... yeah. But... I was thinking... What are your parents gonna say?

\- They... don't have to know. Besides we're not doing anything, Magnus, I barely know you.

\- I'm a... downworlder. Don't wanna cause you trouble.

\- You wanna go out with me or not?

\- ...Dinner after?

\- Would be nice.

\- Yeah.

\- Smile.

\- You're telling me?

\- Sometimes I smile.

\- Mhm, never saw. Okay, once.

\- It's something.

\- Have to go, Alec! - I laughed loudly

\- Have a nice day.

\- You too.

* * *

\- Was it Magnus? - I heard unexpectedly in my ear. Izzy was standing behind me, listening. Her eyes glowing, wide open.

\- Yes... - I answered carefully – Why?

\- Oh my God! Did he call you?

\- I did...

\- What?! Really?! That's awesome!

\- But... - we sat together on my bed – He said... what Maryse and Robert will say when they find out I'm hanging out with a downworlder... and... that he doesn't want to cause me trouble... then I asked does he wanna go with me or not... and he said he does and we're going for dinner right after the concert.

\- Alec, it's awesome news! - she put her hand on my arm – Are you happy?

\- It's just... our second meeting...

\- But you're happy, right?

\- I guess I am. But maybe he is right...

\- About downworlder thing?

\- Yes...

\- Please, I was dating faerie.

\- And how did that work for you, Izzy? - I winced – Besides, we're not dating.

\- Is he attracted to you?

\- Isabelle!

\- What? I wanna know! - I was keeping quiet – Please, Alec! Is he?

\- I've known him for like a week!

\- Don't change the subject.

\- Fine... - I sighed – He's... pretty.

\- Pretty? What, now you're 5?

\- Attractive.

\- Uuu – she started jumping on my bed – What do you like the most in him?

\- His eyes. Catlike, gold and green... Beautiful.

\- Tell me... - Izzy moved closer – Do you think about him sometimes? Like... not like about friend.

\- I. Don't. Know. Magnus!

\- Okay, sorry... I mean... He's a sexy warlock, if you don't want him I would be very pleased to take care of him – she winked and sent me wide smile.

\- No! I mean... you're free to go... but... I'm...

\- Just kidding, don't worry, bro – Isabelle hugged me and added – Text him!

\- What should I write?

\- Something sweet, let him know you are interested!

\- O... okay...

 **2:45 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **What r u doin'?**

 **2:47 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Watching "Project Runaway"**

 **2:50 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Do you go outside sometimes?**

 **2:52 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Imagine me laughing :) I do, just don't need to right now**

 **2:53 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **But it's so sunny and warm and... perfect for a walk!**

 **2:55 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Ask me tho :)**

 **2:57 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Wha, 4 a walk?**

 **2:59 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Maybe :)**

 **3:02 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **We're seeing each other 2morrow**

 **3:04 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Not enough for me :)**

 **3:06 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I know good coffe shop... we can go through Central Park...**

 **3:07 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **So u r asking me out?**

 **3:09 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I do.**

 **3:10 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Seriously?**

 **3:11 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Can't wait 2 see u**

 **3:13 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **On my way :)**

I sighed with excitement. I'm seeing Magnus! _Alec, why are you so happy?! It's just... Magnus._ Right. What should I wear...

* * *

\- Hi – I grinned to Alec when I saw him going out from the Institute – Looking good.

\- Oh... - he blushed very deeply – Thanks, you too.

\- So... walk or coffe first?

\- Walk. I think you need sun – he said cheerfully – Come on, I'll show you something – we went together to Central Park. The sun was shining, a lot of people were walking through the park and Alec was right next to me, whistling some melody.

\- I was thinking... - he said after couple minutes.

\- About me? - I joked.

\- Uhm... yes – his cheeks became very red. Lightwood's answer made me completely speechless.

\- Wh...at?

\- About that... thing... about being a Downworlder...

\- Okay?

\- I just wanted to say I don't care about it. I mean, I like you. It doesn't bother me.

\- That's a great news, Alexander – I smiled

\- Why do you keep calling me 'Alexander'?

\- Because I like this name.

\- I prefer Alec.

\- But 'Alec' doesn't sound... as attractively as 'Alexander' – I tried to flirt a little bit, making Alec blushing again.

\- If... if you... say so...

\- You are so cute while being nervous – I said, brushing his hair from his forehead. Alec cleared his throat.

\- This is what I wanted to show you – we were standing next to big, blue lake.

\- You mean...

\- Look at the water... and find ducks.

\- Wh...what?! - I began to laugh very loud – Ducks?

\- I'm serious – his eyes very focused on mine – Jace hates them, I'm pretty sure he's afraid of them – he laughed shortly – I like being here. I come here often, when I'm sad... or when I'm running... Or when I have awesome day and wanna make it much more awesome.

\- And why are we here today? Which option am I?

\- The last one – he admitted, covering his face with a hair.

\- I'm glad – I moved very close to Alexander and gazed at him. He looked up and our eyes met.

\- Your eyes... - he whispered – Catlike.

\- Yours like a sky – I answered, moving even closer. We were close, closer than ever.

\- I'm... - he said, but I put my finger on his lips.

\- Don't – I really wanted to kiss him but I was afraid it's just a big mistake and he doesn't like me in that way. Alec's eyelids closed like his whole body was waiting for this moment. _Magnus, you've known him just for a week or two... He's gonna be mad... Stop..._

I sighed and tenderly kissed his cheek. He opened his eyes and smiled a little bit. I smiled back and took his hand.

\- May I?

\- Uhm... yes – he nodded.

\- You know, Alexander... You are very special.

\- And I take people for special coffe, come on! - we went to cozy, little coffe shop. Alec chose a table behind big fern and we sat – So now's my turn to choose something good for you, Magnus – he said my name for a very first time and oh my God, sounds perfect.

\- What?

\- You will see – he whispered something to the waitress and smiled – So... Maybe you can tell me something about yourself?

\- Okay, so I'm from Indonesia... I don't remember my parents, I never had a siblings... I like fashion, parties and dating – I winked to him – And I have two best friends, Ragnor and Catarina. I saw all Lightwoods, I saw Maryse when she was just a little baby, I saw Isabelle and you as toddlers... I have to admit, all of you become very pretty and handsome.

\- Don't change the subject.

\- Whoa, what a resoluteness!

\- You don't say.

\- And who are you, a lawyer or something now?

\- A judge, I'm gonna judge you in every step you take, every move you make! - we were laughing together.

\- And you are telling me you're boring? - I wiped the tears of laughter from my cheeks – You're amazing, Alec!

\- Wow, you just called me 'Alec'! Point for you!

\- Your order – our waitress put on the table two cups with something dark brown.

\- And this is...?

\- Hot chocolate with chili! - he said, very excited – My favorite!

\- I'll remember – I tasted it and... - Oh sweet Lord!

\- I told you!

\- Stop making fun of me!

\- Nope, you're too cute while reacting to me making fun of you and... Oh – he covered his mouth with his hand. Wait, did I mishear?

\- What... what did you say? - I asked in shock. He kept quiet – Alec? There's nothing to be ashamed of. Anyway, you are cute too – I stroked his hand and he shivered slightly.

\- I'm such a fool... - he moaned, put his head on the table and sighed deeply.

\- Alexander – I squeezed his warm hand – You're not. It wasn't stupid. It was really nice. So smile and stop being so ashamed, I'm so glad you said I'm cute.

\- Are you...? - Lightwood whispered insecure.

\- Yes. I am. And... - then my phone rang – Hello, who's this?

\- Hi, Magnus, it's Maryse. Where are you?

\- I'm... uhm... - I looked at Alec – Somewhere.

\- Nevermind, close to the Institute?

\- Why?

\- Max is getting worse... Please, Magnus, you have to help him.

\- But the White book... It's not ready!

\- I know, just... gosh... anything, I'll send Alec to take the book from your apartment and you can come here and...

\- I'll be fine on my own, give me ten minutes – I finished talking and sadly looked and Alec.

\- Who was that? - he asked, smiling. My heart clenched in my chest.

\- Alexander, your brother... Max...

\- Is he okay!?

\- He's getting worse... Alec... You have to help me.

\- I'll do everything – I was watching with fascination like his face is changing from funny and relaxed to focused and determined.

\- Here's a key. Go to my loft. In my bedroom there's the book. Take it and come back to the Institute, I'm gonna help Max. Wait! - I had a chance to grab his hand – You're gonna be okay?

\- If Max lives, I will be.

\- Fine... Now go, Alec! - I snapped and showed in Institute in front of hysterical Izzy, crying, with her hair messed up.

\- Magnus! - she squeezed my arms very hard – Magnus, you're here – and hugged me desperately – Max is in his room with mom, follow me! - when we got there I saw a little boy, maybe 9, 10 years old, lying on his bed. I didn't need to check to know he had a very high fever.

\- What did exactly happen?

\- Once we let him go on the mission with Alec and Jace, that was easy one but suddenly the Shax demon showed and hurt Max and now... now... - Izzy was choking her own tears, so I hugged her tightly.

\- Calm down, he'll be fine, let me stay with him alone. Maryse?

\- Sure. Come on, Isabelle, let him work – they left me with Max and closed the door. I focused, raised my hands and created a sparkling 'ball' of magic to cure Alec's brother. I knew he had small chance to survive this. Shax demon plus little kid can't be good.

 _Speaking of which... Where's Alexander?_ I'm very powerful warlock but even my magic has a limit. After couple minutes I started to getting tired, luckily then Alec came to the room, frightened as hell.

\- Magnus! - he screamed, quickly sitting behind me and upholding me – Are you okay?

\- I need your strength... - I whispered weakly – Give me your hand – our faces were very close and I could see little sparkles in his eyes. He gave me his hand and I squeezed it. Right after I felt strength rushing through my body and sat straightly.

\- Try to open the book, Alec!

\- How?

\- Just do it!

\- Okay! - he tried, but glamour was still working. I was trying to make the book open but I knew that it's exhausting both for me and for Alec, healing Max and opening the book in same time. I stopped for a second.

\- What are you doing?! He's gonna die! - Shadowhunter screamed.

\- Alec, shut up – I cut the conversation and started quietly trying to take off the glamour. Alexander was kneeling at Max's bedside and stroking his head.

\- He's very hot... - he said with sadness in his voice – Is there something I can do?

\- Just... be here with me.

\- I'm not going anywhere, Magnus.

* * *

Chapter 3 already published :) Do you like it? Remember about reviews ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**CHAPTER 4**

" **Once I was someone who was crying, once you were the one who wiped my tears"**

Minutes pass slowly, I'm exhausted as hell but I'm trying not to let Alec know about it. I'm almost done with the book and the only thing I'm afraid of is my supply of magic. I could feel that I don't have much.

\- How's he? - I asked quietly.

\- Stable I guess – he looked at me – Aren't you tired?

\- No, why? - I smiled with effort.

\- You look like shit.

\- Thanks – I said sarcastically – You are so nice, Alec.

\- I didn't mean... I... Oh... I mean, you should get some rest...

\- There's no time to rest, I have to help your little brother.

\- Please, let me do something. I can't just sit and look at you while you're working.

\- The man of honor, aren't you? You can get me some water if it's not a problem.

\- Sure, I'll be back in one minute! - when he was gone I finally took off the glamour from the book and happy as I've never been before I approached to Max's bed and... I dropped the White Book, ceasing to breathe in shock. I wasn't the only one who wasn't breathing. Quickly, I checked Max's pulse and heartbeat and fell on my knees, next to bed. Exhaustion and accumulation of emotions prevailed and I just started to crying. Then Alec showed up in room.

\- What hap... - he choked in the mid-sentence, dropping a glass with water. Pieces of glass scattered on the floor – Is he... Mag... Magnus...? Oh my God... - a second later, Alec covering my arms, still asking like in amok – What happened? Magnus! Tell me!

\- He... He... - couldn't catch my breath – I didn't... I couldn't make it... He... He died... Alec... Alexander, I'm so sorry... I tried... - Lightwood stop holding me and turned away. His shoulders shaking from sobbing – Alec...

\- Don't! - he screamed desperate – Don't you dare touch me!

\- I'm sorry... - my voice was soft and quiet – I did my best...

\- M... Magnus... - I heard a moment later and suddenly Alexander is clutching my arms, crying in my neck – Magnus... I'm useless... I'm horrible brother... I couldn't defend him...

\- Shhhh... - I stroked him gentle – It is not your fault... Listen to me – I took his face in my hands and wiped all the tears from his cheeks with my thumbs. Alec closed his eyes and snuggled harder. I could feel his breath on my collarbone – You are gorgeous man. You are amazing big brother. It's not your fault. We tried, Alexander. We did everything. I know it's not gonna help but... I'm so sorry. Maybe you're right. Maybe emotions are really just a distraction. If I didn't think about you a lot, I'd take off the glamour sooner and... - suddenly he shut me up with a gentle kiss. I was so shocked that I couldn't even move. His lips were soft, warm and tasted like tears. Before I come back to real, he moved back with a fear in his beautiful eyes.

\- I... Oh my God... I was wrong, yeah? I made a mistake? I... I shouldn't... Oh God... I'm so sorry, Magn... – then I interrupted him, kissing his lips with passion. Alexander relaxed in my arms, moving closer to my body. His hands on my hips, stroking them a little bit. I sighed into his mouth and he used this to slip his tongue between my lips. _Oh my God..._ I had to react when our tongues met.

\- Alec... Alec, wait... - he looked at me. His eyes misty with pleasure and dreamily.

\- W...what? You... didn't like it...?

\- No! I did! Of course I did – I took his hands – I just... I saw things like this...

\- I don't understand...

\- People so crazy with despair who did things... They didn't want to.

\- You're suggesting... I didn't wanna kiss you?

\- No. What I'm suggesting is... you need some time, Alexander, my dear. Can we talk abo... - then I just saw a lot of darkness and... nothing.

* * *

\- Can we talk abo... - and then he slipped on the floor. I screamed and gave him a light slap but it made nothing. I ran out of room and started calling mom, Izzy and Jace. They came very fast and began to ask about everything:

\- What happened? What's wrong with Magnus? How's Max?

\- Shut up! - I yelled at them, crying on the floor – Magnus passed out... he's exhausted... and Max... Max is...

\- What this warlock did to him?! - Maryse was mad as hell.

\- He did nothing! He was trying to save him! - I was trying to defend Magnus but Maryse was relentless

\- Get him out, Alec!

\- He passed out! - I growled and took Magnus up – I'm gonna lay him down in my bedroom. And no – I warned seeing my mum was gonna say something – I don't care what you are gonna say. He's my guest now and I'm gonna take care of him – in a different case I'd just do what Maryse told me but looking after Magnus was a way not to feel the pain, even if it's just for a moment. I was on my way to my room, crying and trying not to drop Bane. His face was so peaceful, not like couple minutes before when he was so stressed out. I put him softly on my bed and stroked his cheek. I noticed he isn't unconscious anymore but he's just sleeping. I smiled a little bit and went back to Max's room. Maryse and Izzy were hugging and sobbing and Jace was holding Max's hand with the other hand covering his face. No one lifted a head when I went to the room. I touched Jace's shoulder and whispered:

\- Hey, buddy... May I...?

\- Sure – he moved and I sat next to him – Did you... saw him... dying?

\- No... I wasn't here, Magnus was.

\- Where were you?

\- I went to the kitchen to bring Magnus some water, he was very tired and running out of magic.

\- How can you know it wasn't him? Maybe he caused Max's death?

\- Are you insane?! He almost died too, trying to help Max, he did his best! How dare you, how...

\- Alec, shut up. I got it.

\- Yeah... I... I should do something now... Take mom and Izzy away from here... Make them something hot to drink... Can you stay here with Max? - I was trying to be calm, not to cry and act like "the oldest one". It was my responsibility to take care of my family.

\- Sure, go.

\- Mom...? Izzy...? - I asked hesitantly – Come with me to the kitchen, I'll make you some tea and dinner. Please, you can't sit here forever...

\- No... I have to let Robert know... Have to stay with... with Max...

\- Let me do this – I took her hand – I'll take care of everything – I lifted her off the ground. Isabelle decided to go with us.

I made both of them some hot tea and started making dinner, when Jace came to the kitchen.

\- Magnus is asking for you...

\- Coming.

\- Hey – he stopped me, looking straight into my eyes – You're gonna be okay?

\- Sure.

\- Alec, I'm your _parabatai_ , I feel what you feel.

\- I'm fine – I cut the conversation and went to my room where I left Bane.

\- You said you need me? - I asked, walking into my bedroom. He was sitting on the bed with a glass of water, very pale.

\- I'm... I know you have better things to do... But... I just wanted to have you here for a moment... Sit with me, Alexander - I did what he asked me to do – Are you okay? - I nodded – You're sure?

\- I... I just... - I sighed deeply, my voice was shaking – I don't know...

\- Alec... - Magnus grabbed my hand and started to make little circles on it with his thumb. His eyes very calm and mild – You can be honest with me, I'm here for you.

\- I'd rather know how are you.

\- Better, my magic is rebuilding slowly, but it is. I'll be fine, don't worry.

\- God, I was so scared...

\- About my condition?

\- Yes... About your condition... - I felt his hand on my back – I don't know what to do... I'm the oldest one... I should take care of my family... Especially when Robert is in Idris... I can't fall apart... But... I feel... Like I'm dying inside...

\- Alexander, emotions are good... You can't hide everything inside because it will kill you... And you'll explode, and it won't be funny...

\- I can't... can't... - I was very close to burst into tears.

\- Let yourself... - he moved me closer and leaned on his chest – Come on, it's okay... You're safe with me... - I couldn't stop myself any longer. I started crying, hiding my face in Magnus' neck.

\- Shhhh... It's okay... I'm here... It's okay... - he was whispering into my ear. I have no clue how long I was crying but what I know is that warlock didn't stop holding me even for a second.

\- You should sleep... - I heard his soft voice again. My eyes were closed, I felt warm and safe in his strong arms.

\- Magnus?

\- Mhm?

\- Don't leave me...

I won't, I promise. Now try to sleep – he stroked my hair and laid me on the pillows.

\- Thanks... - I whispered, falling asleep.

* * *

Alec was sleeping very anxiously, sometimes he was even screaming. I really wanted to help him with my magic, but I was too exhausted. All I could do was whispering and singing to his ear. I was lying next to him and could feel the warmth of his perfect body.

When he woke up, he seemed to be very surprised.

\- What... What's going on?

\- Hi, little flower – I smiled a little bit – How are you feel?

\- Like a shit... - he moaned, rubbing his face – I didn't sleep well...

\- I know. Sorry I couldn't help.

\- But you did, Magnus.

\- Not as much as I can usually. Tonight I'll help you with my magic.

\- I don't need it – his voice unexpectedly cold like ice – You can go home. I have to take care of my family.

\- Alexander...

\- Don't "Alexander" me! And go home! - he seemed to be irritated.

\- Okay, if this is what you want... Will you call me later?

\- Maybe.

\- Alec, you don't have to become emotionless only because you're big brother...

\- Stop it – he took a t-shirt and pants from his wardrobe. They were white. My heart squeezed painfully, I knew white means mourning in the Shadow World.

\- Can't we talk? Really?

\- Don't have time...

\- Alexander! - I raised my voice and put my hands on his shoulders – Look at me, not at the floor – he did it – Listen, candy. I wanna help you, I know you're trying to be tough and whatever but... I'm here for you, to create a place when you can come and let yourself crying. Don't close up for me – he closed his eyes and sighed. I used a moment and hugged him tightly. He wrapped his arms around my waist and we were just standing together, in silence.

\- I have an idea – I murmured into his ear – Now I'll go home and get some sleep... You can do whatever you need to... and tonight you'll come to me... And I'll help you relax... What do you think?

\- Well, I... I shouldn't...

\- Shhh – I put my finger on his lips – I'm not asking whether you should but whether you want.

\- I want... - Alec whispered and leaned his head on my shoulder – Now better go, I have a feeling you haven't slept since two days, am I right?

\- Kinda... - I admitted – So... See you tonight, flower – he smiled, blushing a little bit.

\- Yes, see you.

\- Can you walk me or...

\- I need to check out my mom... Sorry.

\- Got it. Bye!

\- Bye, Magnus – while I was leaving I met Izzy. She looked like she also hadn't been sleeping last night.

\- Hi – she said quietly – Going home?

\- Yup. Hey, I'm... I'm taking Alexander out tonight, is it okay?

\- Sure, he needs it. Will you come for the funeral?

\- Well... I guess all your family blames me for your little brother's death... And... Isn't the ceremony just for Shadowhunters?

\- We can make an exception for you. You were trying to save Max... And I'm pretty sure Alec will need you there.

\- Will he?

\- Yes. He cares about you.

\- We actually just met and...

\- I know. But... I think I don't have to explain. You're here just because of him.

\- You are right... Okay, I have to go. Hold on, sweetheart – I hugged her and left the Institute.

 _Couple hours later..._

It was already quite late when Alec came to my place. He looked tired and very sad.

\- Hi, biscuit – I stroked his arm shortly – Wanna eat something?

\- Actually I need to get drunk... - he growled quietly.

\- You're staying?

\- What?

\- For tonight.

\- You mean... You want me to sleep here?

\- If you get drunk I won't let you go home.

\- Fine.

\- Are you sure you don't wanna talk?

\- Yes... Enough talking.

\- Alec?

\- What?

\- I have better idea than drinking... Because... - I moved so close that our faces almost touched – You don't need to poison yourself... Especially you're not gonna remember anything... Instead of this... I can make you very relaxed.

\- H... How? - his voice shaking, his breath clearly accelerated.

\- I know some... tricks – I breathed on his neck and he trembled – Just let me.

Ok...ay...

\- So come with me - I led him to the living room – Lay down on your chest, here, on the couch... And oh, take off your shirt.

\- What? Why? What you...

\- Shh, just do it – when he was ready I took some essential oil and started massaging his back. Alec hissed loudly – You have very tense muscles... Just relax...

\- How can I... Oh... - he moaned after my stronger move.

\- Don't speak, just feel – I whispered, continuing massage. I started with his neck and shoulders and then I was moving inch after inch down to his spine. Alec was relaxing slowly, I heard him purring with pleasure. His skin became very warm and soft and when I was dangerously close to his jeans, he moaned. I smiled.

\- So... - I murmured into his ear – How do you feel now?

\- Don't stop... - he whined and I kissed his neck very gentle, causing his sigh. I've never seen him so relaxed before.

\- I'll make drinks, wait for me, darling – after a while I came back with two glasses, one of them I gave to Alexander who sat straight next to me. Still shirtless. We were drinking in silence for a minute but then I put my glass on the table and touched Alec's chest.

\- How are you now?

\- Mmmm... - he closed his eyes, leaning his head on my shoulder – You're magical...

\- I'm a warlock, you know? - I stroked his cheek and laughed quietly – There's magic in me – he finished his drink and answered:

\- I know – he had looked at me and our eyes met.

\- Alec, I just want to say...

\- Oh, shut up – he moved and kissed me passionately. This time I deepened a kiss immediately, taking his face in my hands. His skin was literally _hot_ and his lips soft and confident, he slipped his hand in my hair and squeezed lightly making me moaning for a second. _God, I can't breathe..._ I slid my mouth to his neck, making a hickey.

\- Magnus... - he whispered, tilting his head back. Shadowhunter's eyelids fluttering very fast and his hand squeezing my T-shirt – M... Magnus...

\- I know... I know - I snapped my fingers tenderly and Alec almost screamed.

\- Oh my... What... What was that...?

\- A sparkle – I answered archly – Straight through your body.

\- Don't... please, I... Oh! - I did it again, laughing softly – God, this is so good...

\- I know what's good for you – I smiled, combining our lips in a kiss.

\- Mhm... - he murmured. I wrapped my arms around his waist. Our tongues were dancing together and our hearts were beating loudly and fast. He put his hands under my shirt and this was the moment I thought we should stop.

\- Alec... Alec, wait – I pulled him away. He looked at me and I suppressed a groan. His face was priceless, flushed and his eyes full of delight – We should stop.

\- You don't want me...? - he asked with fear in his voice.

\- You have no idea how hard I want you right now. But... I told you something about it. Besides... You would regret it. Believe me. You should have your first time with someone... you love – I stroked his cheek very gentle – We can talk about it tomorrow. Give yourself some time, Alexander. Don't go too fast. It should be... magical.

\- It is magical... I want it.

\- I know – I grabbed his face – But you want it now. And tomorrow you'd say that I hurt you. I can't let that happen. And... don't you dare think I don't want you, darling. I do.

\- You... do?

\- I do. We'll have time for everything... First, I wanna get to know you better, I wanna meet you as much as I can and... and maybe date you some day. And then we can think... about it.

\- God, I'm so stupid... I'm sorry...

\- No! You're not stupid. All I do is just because of my respect for you. I treat you, Alexander, like a treasure. I can't blow it. Okay? - he nodded – And now... Because we're here to relax you... What do you say about a hot bath? I can prepare everything.

\- Would be... awesome.

\- So... - I moved my hand – Go, take some time. You can be there as long as you want. Oh, and - I snapped – In the bathroom you have some clothes to sleep in. Have a good time.

\- Magnus?

\- Yeah?

\- How can I repay you?

\- Stay with me a little longer – I winked to him – Like for the whole night.

It's... it's not repayment... I'll do it with pleasure... - he blushed deeply, ashamed by his own words.

\- For me it is a repayment. And if it's also a pleasure for you, I'll be happy. And now go, until you have hot water.

\- I'll be back for...

\- I told you, take some time. And – in his hand suddenly a glass with drink – Take this with you. I'm waiting – I showed him a way to the bathroom and sat on my favourite chair, very complacent. I closed my eyes, reminding myself a taste of Alec's lips and warmth of his body and also a deep, blue color of his big, beautiful eyes. _He is so perfect... I think... I'm falling in love with him..._

\- I'm ready... I mean... I'm done – I heard shy voice behind me. I opened my eyes and saw Lightwood in usual T-shirt and shorts I gave him.

\- You look very sweet right now – I made him sit on my lap – I like your hair – they still were wet and stuck out in all directions. He was looking into my eyes, without any speaking – Tired? Wanna go sleep?

\- Not yet – he moved closer and kissed me gentle – I wanna see your cat.

\- Chairman Meow? - I was surprised. This is not what I expected to hear – Wait – I got up and after a while I brought a cat to Alec – Watch out.

\- I'll be fine - his face lightened with a smile – He's so fluffy and cute!

\- I know – I smiled – He likes you.

\- Just like the last time, he remembers me. Right, Chairman? - he was playing with my cat for a while and then put him back on the floor. His eyes were glowing.

\- Can you make me one more drink?

\- I don't think it's a good id...

\- Magnus – he interrupted me – Please.

\- Fine... - I did what he asked me to do – But... You're gonna be drunk...

\- I don't care – he answered – Maybe we can watch a movie or something?

\- You like Sherlock?

\- Yes, I love!

\- So let's watch – we sat together on the couch, Shadowhunter leaned on my shoulder, sipping his drink.

In the middle of the movie I felt his hand on my chest, slightly stroking. My breath speed up just a little bit but I was trying to stay calm. But when Alec's fingers wandered under my shirt I had to react.

\- Alec... - he didn't stop, what's more he put there another hand – Alexander...

\- What? - he murmured, semiconscious.

\- Stop...

\- I don't wanna stop...

\- You're drunk...

\- Magnus...

\- That's my name.

\- Let me...

\- No.

\- Please.

\- No way.

\- Kiss me then.

\- This I can do - I immersed into his mouth. Alec purred with pleasure and pulled me closer. He licked my bottom lip and I opened my mouth, inviting his tongue inside. I felt so good that I started losing control. A little sparkles shot from my fingers, making Alec moaning.

\- Oh my God, I'm so sorry... I wasn't...

\- Don't you dare apologize... It felt... So awesome... - he panted, holding the collar of my shirt.

\- Okay... Okay, enough – I said, trying to step back.

\- You're not going anywhere – he protested, kissing again, this time my neck.

\- Al... oh... Alexander, I'm begging you... I can't lose control...

\- Then stop me – he smiled, continuing.

\- The thing is... I don't want you to stop... But I have to... Make you stop...

\- You're moaning already, don't interrupt me – I closed my eyes, letting myself forget for a moment, but then I felt his lips on my collarbone and pushed him away immediately.

\- Alec, we can't, no matter how much I want to take off all your clothes right now. Come on, we're going to the bedroom.

\- Are you gonna sleep with me?

\- Of course not. Not when you're so drunk.

\- Lame... - he sighed – I'm so tired...

\- I know, cupcake, we got there. Now lay down... Okay... - I covered him with a blanket and turned off the lights – Have a sweet dreams, Alexander – then I closed the door.


	5. Chapter 5

**CHAPTER 5**

" **Once I was someone who wasn't lonely anymore"**

I woke up in a warm bed, with a lot of pillows around me. I felt really awesome, aside from a slight headache, like the whole drama didn't happen. I saw a piece of paper on the bedside table:

" _Come downstairs for breakfast :) I left you some clothes in the bathroom._

 _Magnus"_

I smiled and got out of bed. I found the bathroom, washed my face and teeth and combed my hair with my fingers. Then I went down to the kitchen. I could feel a very nice smell of scrambled eggs and freshly brewed coffee.

\- Hi – I said, walking into the room.

\- Hi, biscuit – Magnus was sitting at the table, drinking coffee – Did you sleep well?

\- You have no idea. Like never before.

\- Good – he seemed to be happy – Breakfast?

\- Did you steal it?

\- Nope, this time I made it just for you.

\- So I can eat with clean conscience – I laughed just a little bit – Thanks for last night.

\- It was a pleasure having you here, Alexander.

\- Did I... Uhm... Did I do something stupid? - he was wondering for a minute or two

\- No, I had control.

\- So I was trying...

\- Uhm...

\- Be honest with me.

\- We were kissing... - he admitted – And you were trying to get rid of my clothes but I stopped you – I blushed extremely hard.

\- I'm... so sorry... I didn't...

\- I know – he grabbed my hand – That's why I stopped. But you have, uhm...

\- What?

\- A hickey.

\- Where?!

\- On your neck.

\- Oh God... - I blushed even more

\- So you... don't remember the kiss...?

\- Not really...

\- Oh... - he saddened

\- I'm sorry... I mean... I remember the first one... when you did... this thing... with your magic... and then... a bath... and then... I don't know.

\- Maybe it's better. Good that you remember the first part of last night.

\- Maybe – I agreed and moved my finger through his cheek – Will you go the funeral with me?

\- You... Oh... You want me there?

\- Sure... You deserved to be there... And... I will need you...

\- Whatever you need me to do...

\- No... I mean... It's not like I need you... I don't wanna use you... I mean, I do, I need you but... I just want to have you close on the ceremony...

\- You don't have to explain, I got it.

\- Thanks for last night and for breakfast... - I intended to stand up but Magnus stopped me

\- Wait, don't go. I'm taking you for a walk.

\- I should come back to the Institute...

\- Your family will be fine. Please, Alexander. Stay. It's not like I don't need you. I do.

\- Let me text Izzy – I gave up and pulled the phone out of my pocket.

 **9:34 AM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Stayin' at Magnus'. R u gonna be fine?**

 **9:37 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Ofc. How r u?**

 **9:38 AM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Better... Magnus is...**

 **9:40 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Magical?**

 **9:41 AM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Magical isn't enough... I've never felt like this before**

 **9:43 AM**

 **To: Alec**

 **U deserve 4 happiness. We'll talk later. Luv ya**

 **9:45 AM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Love u 2**

\- We can go – I put my phone back to the pocket

\- Great – he smiled and took my hand. I grinned back and we went together for a very long walk, holding each others hands.

\- When I came back to the Institute all I heard was silence. I went to Izzy's room.

\- Hi, I'm back – I whispered, walking into her bedroom.

\- Alec! - she hugged me – Tell me everything!

\- Now's not a good time...

\- Please... I need something to forget... about...

\- Okay... Okay. So... I came to his place... and... he did... a massage... and I was shirtless... and then he made cocktails... and... we were... kissing – I covered my flushed face with my hands.

\- Oh my God, already?!

\- I know...

\- Hey, it's good! Does he kiss well? From 1 to 10? With a tongue or not?

\- Uhm... He's... an awesome... kisser... And he did something... with his magic... Oh God, I felt this sparkle in my whole body... That was... awesome feeling...

\- And then?

\- He prepared a bath for me and... And then... I don't remember. Too much drinking. He said I was trying to take off his clothes...

\- Oh my Raziel, Alec – she giggled – You must like him very much.

\- I was drunk... And he told me he stopped this whole action... he respects me... And I...

\- And you feel like your heart beats faster when he's around?

\- Yes... Yes, exactly...

\- He is good... And if he respects you... it'll be perfect relationship.

\- Isabelle, we just met!

\- Yup, and you slept at Magnus', you kissed him couple times and whatever you were doing together.

\- Yhm...

\- I know, take your time.

\- He told me the same thing.

\- See?

\- He's coming for the funeral tomorrow...

\- I know, we were talking about it.

\- I invited him also...

\- Why?

\- I need him... I don't know... He can make me relaxed...

\- I got it, Alec – she leaned her head on my shoulder – Do what makes you happy.

\- I can't be happy right now... How's mom? And Jace? - Izzy shrugged her shoulders

\- I'm here since yesterday...

\- I'll go and check.

\- Okay.

\- Okay – I kissed her forehead and went to Jace's room – May I? - I asked after knocking.

\- Who's this?

\- Alec.

\- Come in – he was lying on his bed, looking at the ceiling – Where were you?

\- At Magnus'.

\- Of course.

\- Are you mad?

\- No! Why would I be?

\- I don't know... You're okay?

\- Not really... Clary couldn't come today and... I don't know.

\- That's why you have _parabatai_ , Jace. We can go for a walk, you could use some fresh air.

\- Maybe running?

\- Oh, that's better idea. Get your shit together and come on. I'll wait downstairs.

\- Fine – after a while Jace showed up in his black tracksuit and sneakers.

\- We were running together almost two hours and when we came back, he panted:

\- Thanks, Alec... I'm so much better now.

\- Always – I patted him on the back – Gonna check out mom.

\- See you at dinner!

\- Sure! - I took a short, cold shower, changed my clothes and went to Maryse's bedroom. She was sitting at the table and watching photographs.

\- Hi, mom – I embraced her – May I help you?

\- I'm fine, sweetheart. You weren't here last night.

\- Yes...

\- Should I ask where have you been?

\- Not necessarily.

\- Okay... I trust you.

\- I invited Magnus for the funeral.

\- You... what?!

\- He helped us. He deserves to be on the ceremony.

\- Alec...

\- Mom, it wasn't his fault...

\- I know I just... Oh... Fine, but he is your guest.

\- Of course. Thanks.

\- Can you leave me now?

\- Okay... - I came out of her room, didn't know what to do next.

* * *

 **1:01 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **It's so quiet here... Idk what 2 do**

 **1:03 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **No training?**

 **1:04 AM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Nope. I have nothing to do, that means I'm gonna die of despair soon.**

 **1:06 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **I'm here 4 u**

 **1:09 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I know. But srsly... I took Jace for running, talked to Izzy, checked out mom... Usually I have lessons or trainings at this time... and now... I feel empty.**

 **1:12 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Wanna meet?**

 **1:13 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **God, yes. Not enough?**

 **1:14 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Never.**

 **1:16 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Where?**

 **1:17 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **In front of Central Park?**

 **1:19 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Not in public... I want to be alone with you.**

 **1:21 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Then come to me.**

 **1:23 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **What do u have to offer?**

 **1:26 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Movie, snacks and my arms?**

 **1:28 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Perfect. I'm coming.**

 **1:30 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Waiting.**

* * *

\- You are going out again? - I met Izzy in the hallway

\- I'll go crazy here...

\- Magnus?

\- Uhm...?

\- Oh please, I know you're going to meet him.

\- Yeah...

\- Hey, what's wrong?

\- Nothing, I'm... When I'm around him... I can forget about pain... But now...

\- I got it, believe me – she wrapped her arms around my chest – I love you, Alec, you know?

\- I love you too... Izzy, maybe we can go somewhere tomorrow?

\- After the funeral?

\- Yes. We need some bro-sis time, don't you think?

\- Are we taking Jace?

\- No way, he has Clary. We can go for a walk, or for a movie or anything you want.

\- Would be great – she smiled through the tears – Are you coming home for tonight?

\- I think I'll stay at Magnus' place.

\- Fine, text me how's going, okay?

\- I promise. Take care of yourself and eat something!

\- I'll try – Isabelle answered and walked toward the library. I sighed and went outside. It was perfect, sunny day completely different than my mood. I still was relaxed after last night and today's morning but I just knew there's sadness in me and it'll be gone as soon as I see Magnus. When I got to his house I went to staircase and then knocked to his door. He opened, dressed like he has just woke up.

\- Hi, flower – he embraced me and put his face in my neck. I felt his warm breath on my skin.

\- Hi, Magnus – I smiled – Did I wake you up?

\- No, I was too lazy to get dressed.

\- It's 2 pm...

\- I know. I just...

\- You're just lazy - I nudged him with my elbow.

\- And still, you like me – he grinned, wrapping his arm around my shoulder – Come in.

\- What are we gonna do? Movie, like you promised?

\- Don't you wanna use this beautiful day?

\- Wow, Magnus, are you really proposing me being outside?! - I started laughing – Are you sure it won't kill you?

\- So funny... - Bane muttered under his breath but in the corners of his mouth the smile was lurking – Now you have to kiss me, because I'm sad you're making fun of me.

\- Kiss you? No way – he pulled me close and put our foreheads together

\- Are you sure? I can be very convincing...

\- Show me then.

\- Fine – he rubbed his lips on my neck and I purred quietly. His hands on my hip bones, he was stroking them slowly.

\- Mhmmm... - I murmured, closing my eyes. He started to giving me a lot of small kisses on my neck and cheeks.

\- Sooo, now you can kiss me?

\- Still no, Magnus.

\- Fine, then I'll just take what's mine – he snorted and stole gentle kiss from me. I deepened it, moving my tongue on his palate, making him moaning. I pushed him to the wall, kissing harder, passionately, my hands finally under his shirt and then...

\- Alec, sweetheart, stop it.

\- God, Magnus! - I got angry – How many times?!

\- Not now. I told you.

\- You could say you don't want me... Going home.

\- No, wait! Alexander – he took my hand – You don't understand and you're stubborn like a donkey. I'll make your first time the best you can have if you decide to have it with me... But. I want you to love me first. I'm not gonna force you to do anything. This is the only rule I want you to respect. I was in many relationships and... I can assure you that structure "bed first, love then" only can give you a heartbreak. Do you believe me?

\- I... I do – I nodded, looking into his catlike eyes – I'm not that kind of person, actually you're the first one who kissed me...

\- Not even a kiss before me?

\- Not even.

\- So I'm your first.

\- Exactly.

\- That makes it more special than I thought.

\- I guess – I smiled, snuggling deeper into his arms – So... Walk, or something?

\- I have a better idea, do you trust me?

\- Of course.

\- Then hold on tight – he grabbed my hand and made indefinite movement of his hand. Suddenly we were outside, somewhere.

\- Magnus? - I asked, very amazed – Where are we?

\- Italy – he grinned - Aosta Valley.

\- You're kidding me.

\- No, why would I?

\- Oh my God... I've never been outside of New York... And this... Wow!

\- I knew you will like it. Coming? - he reached out his hand – I wanna show you something – I took it and we went down a little street full of flowers.

\- So there you can see tops of the mountains like Mont Blanc, Monte Cervino or Gran Paradiso. It's very cold here during winter. And there are a lot of glaciers also. But now, when it's summer, it's very charmingly here, as you can see. We're going to the city square to eat something... They have special dishes, but I want you to try _Riso e castagne,_ it's a soup with rice and chestnuts in milk, awesome – Magnus was telling me about the city and I was just listening to him and watching beautiful views around me.

The city square was small but really lovely, I could see a lot of small shops, one coffee shop, one restaurant, one library and a town hall.

\- Here – Bane showed me the place where we were going – Have a sit, my sweet.

\- We're gonna eat outside? Awesome!

\- I know – he sent me a long look and called a waiter. I didn't hear him making an order, because I was watching people walking through the city square. I couldn't find anyone from the Shadow world, that was probably the reason Magnus took me here. But that was actually good, I could feel like a normal person without all of my problems I left in New York.

\- I realized I lost in thought a little.

\- What are you thinking about? - warlock asked, moving with his chair closer to me.

\- Nothing, different stuff.

\- You like this place, don't you?

\- It's so peaceful here... - he leaned his chin on my shoulder – Thanks for this.

\- Always – we got our meal, and when we finished (God, that soup was amazing!) he asked:

\- Wanna go for a walk?

\- Enough walking... - I murmured, leaning my back on his chest and closing my eyes. He started stroking my head. I don't know how long we were in this position, but I'm pretty sure I fell asleep for a moment.

* * *

Alec was dozing in my arms and I was stroking his hair very gentle, trying not to wake him up. He looked so peaceful and calm, like he never does... I started to wondering about my feelings for him. We met really recently but he stole my heart immediately. First, his big and puppy eyes, deep blue with a lot of eyelashes, then his soft hair, going in all possible directions, then his perfect body with those sexy muscles... And his name. Sweet and pretty. Alexander. Alec. I have feelings for him, for sure. I just don't know what kinda...

\- Oh God... - he opened his eyes – Did I fall asleep?

\- Did you have good dreams? - I kissed his forehead.

\- It was so nice... - he stood up and stretched – What time is it?

\- Almost 7 pm.

\- Magnus... You could wake me up...

\- I didn't want to, you need to relax. And sleep.

\- If you say so... We're going home?

\- Whatever you want to.

\- I wanna walk.

\- Sure, let's go – I stood up, feeling sore in my muscles. Our fingers braided together, Alec's hand very warm and soft.

\- Magnus, can I ask you about something?

\- Yes, of course.

\- How old are you?

\- Really, Alec? - I laughed gently – I'm older than you.

\- You don't say, haha, you're so funny. Tell me the truth.

\- More that 300 years old.

\- More?

\- More.

\- So you won't tell me.

\- I told you.

\- Fine... so... Camille. She's your ex?

\- Unfortunately... I mean... I loved her. I really loved her. But she broke my heart. My friends helped me but... Still hurts when I think about her.

\- How long have you been together?

\- I don't even know... Long. Very long. Camille was playing with me.

\- And... You haven't dated anyone since her?

\- No.

\- Aren't you lonely? - I was sure he saw sadness in my eyes.

\- I was always lonely, Alexander. When you're immortal... You watch people you love dying... You live without any goal... And you are lonely. You don't have your own place.

\- I always though immortality is so awesome...

\- It is... You have opportunity to see everything, do everything, fall in love again and again... But this loneliness will kill you sooner or later.

\- And now... Now, are you lonely?

\- No – I smiled – I have you here, with me. You're the sunshine of my life, Alexander.

\- It's Alec, I told you – he made a funny face, wrinkling his nose and moving closer to me.

\- Flower, the thing is I like Alexan... - suddenly he shut me up with a deep kiss. I pulled him closer, wrapping my arms around his neck. After a while he moved away, grinning.

\- And I like you... Flower – he whispered, blushing in the cutest way he could. I giggled, slipping my hand under his arm.

\- Okay, Alec – I looked at him eloquently and he chuckled – Time to go home.

\- Do warlocks celebrate their birthday? - he asked suddenly.

\- Ohm... Actually... It depends... I don't do that.

\- Why?

\- Imagine living for so long and give yourself an answer.

\- Right... - he nodded.

\- Okay, give me your hand and we're moving... - I snapped loudly - ...back to my apartment!

\- That's so cool – he said, taking off his leather jacket – This whole snapping-moving thing.

\- You know what's even cooler? - I purred, grabbing his shirt and pulling him close to my body.

\- What...?

\- This – I snapped and he hissed.

\- Oh god, not again... those little sparkles... Oh...

\- Mhmmm – I giggled, teasing with him – You prefer them... - I let him feel it in his spine – Here or... - then in his chest and lower – Here?

\- M... Magnus... - Alec's voice already shaking – Stop...

\- Why? - I was a bit amused by his reaction.

\- B... because we can't... go further...

\- I'm just playing – I conjured a little, cobalt blue sparkle and started to making it move around Alexander's body. I was guiding it with one hand, another one weaving into Shadowhunter's hair. He was trembling in my arms, breathing heavily. I sent a sparkle through his arms, then his back and neck, and after that I stopped on his stomach, under his shirt. He couldn't resist anymore and slipped his tongue into my mouth. I got distracted and accidentally sent my sparkle below his lower abdomen. Alexander whined protractedly and I bit my lips.

\- S... sorry... I... - he didn't let me speak, caressing my neck with his tongue – Alec, please... We... Oh my... - his hands suddenly under my shirt, stroking my back and making pleasant chills in my whole body. I already knew I'm not gonna stop. Not now – It will be... better... on my bed... - he grabbed my hand and dragged me into the bedroom. He took of his shirt and I opened my mouth in admiration. His muscles and skin with black runes on it... It really turned me on.

\- So... - he panted, lying me down – Where did we stop? Oh, sure... - he hung over me and kissed me passionately. Then he lifted me up a little bit, getting rid of my T-shirt.

\- Alec... - I moaned, pressing him closer to me.

\- Shhh – he whispered, moving his tongue through my neck, to my chest. He licked one nipple and I closed my eyes, trying not to scream. It was too good and that means it's the moment to say "enough".

\- Alec, no... - _God, that's hard..._ \- Enough. Please... - I grabbed his face – Please, stop.

\- Why? You don't wanna stop and I don't either. What seems to be a problem? If you don't want me, just tell me!

\- I told you a million times. I want you. So bad. But I can't do this.

\- Even if I want this? - he looked very beautiful, his face flushed a little bit and those glowing eyes.

\- Let's make a deal.

\- I'm listening.

\- A shirt is the last thing we take off. It has to be enough for you right now...

\- Better than nothing – he murmured into my lips and then he came back on my chest.

\- Al... Alexander... - that was the first time I was moaning. After a second or two, Alec put his hands on my butt – Hey! Where are you going with those hands?

\- Wherever you want me to go.

\- Then come back, sweetheart – I smiled – Please.

\- Fiiine – he answered, stroking my back – At least... I can do this – he kissed me passionately.

\- You're amazing – I whispered, touching his cheek – I promised you a movie, right?

\- Kissing is boring for you, huh? - he asked archly, tickling my waist. I laughed loudly.

\- N...no! Stop... Alec... Hahaha... Stop – I looked into his eyes and saw a sparkle of happiness there – You never cease to amaze me, darling.

\- I know – he grinned – So... Movie night?

\- Wow... you're... staying?

\- If you want... - he felt ashamed.

\- Of course I do!

\- Great... But first I need to text Izzy, I promised.

\- I'll pick the movie then.

* * *

So chapter 5 finally here, I had some free time while skyping with my bae _parabatai_ Agata (all love for you, sweetheart 3) I hope you'll enjoy aaaand let me know in the reviews! :D See ya!


	6. Chapter 6

**CHAPTER 6**

" **Once I was someone who blame himself for everything"**

I went to the kitchen and took my phone.

 **8:46 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **I'm alive**

 **8:49 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Great :) how's ur day?**

 **8:51 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Magnus took me to Italy. Aosta... something.**

 **8:53 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **OMG :O**

 **8:54 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **What were u doin'?**

 **8:56 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Sight-seein', walking, dinner... kissing.**

 **8:58 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **I don't recognize you, Alec :D**

 **9:00 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **It's a good thing?**

 **9:01 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **In this case, yup**

 **9:03 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **I need to... talk to u.**

 **9:04 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **What happened?**

 **9:06 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Nothing! I just need advice.**

 **9:10 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Of course. We can talk tomorrow, we're going out, right?**

 **9:11 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Yes. I've gotta go, Magnus is waiting for me**

 **9:12 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Uuu, movie?**

 **9:14 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **Mhm :)**

 **9:16 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Alec?**

 **9:17 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **What?**

 **9:20 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **I just... Funeral starts at 10 AM. Don't be late. And... You're the one who have to barry him... I mean... You know...**

 **9:21 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **ME?! What...? Why...?**

 **9:22 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **I'm so sorry... Clave said that u should bc you're the oldest one.**

 **9:23 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **We'll be there 4u. And so will Magnus.**

 **9:25 PM**

 **To: Izzy**

 **I love you.**

 **9:27 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **I know, I love u 2.**

I blinked couple times, very fast, trying to get rid of this picture from my head. _I have to put my little brother to the ground...?_

\- Alec...? - I heard Magnus and then his warm body snuggling to my back – Are you okay?

\- Y... yeah...

\- What ha...

\- No – I interrupted him – Don't. I just wanna watch the movie and go to sleep.

\- You know you can talk to me.

\- I know... I just... I want to use this time when I'm here to be happy.

\- Sure – he smiled and we went to his living room, holding each others hands.

After the movie and shower, Magnus embraced me and snuggled his face in my neck.

\- I need to ask you... - he whispered and I felt his breath on my skin.

\- Yeah?

\- Would you like to... join me in bed tonight...? - I stopped breathing for a second.

\- You mean... uhm... you didn't want to...

\- No! No no, I mean... It would be nice to hug someone warm...

\- Someone? - I raised my eyebrow.

\- Someone special. Like you – he looked deep into my eyes and I blushed.

\- I would love to – I answered, smiling.

His bed was very big and very comfortable. When we both laid, he pulled me to his chest and sighed with pleasure:

\- This is perfect, my Alexander.

\- Yours?

\- Is it a problem? - he smiled in a very sweet way.

\- Not at all – I murmured, snuggling to him – Goodnight.

\- Goodnight, little peas – he kissed my temple and my forehead and all I remember then was his cute voice singing a lullaby.

* * *

Magnus squeezed my hand. He was wearing white jacket with glitter on the lapels and dark red pants, which makes him very handsome, more than usual. I had my white suit, nothing special.

In front of the Institute I took away my hand and sent him an apologetic look.

\- Are you ready for this?

\- Won't be more... - my entire body was shaking and I felt like I was gonna pass out.

\- I'm here – he said with his warm, mild voice.

\- I know... Okay, let's go – we went to the hallway when my whole family were waiting. Izzy immediately ran up to me and hugged me.

\- Alec... - she was wearing a beautiful dress, reaching to her knees and a beautiful necklace she got from me for her 16th birthday, a one and half year ago.

\- You look amazing – I whispered, stroking her hair. I greeted my mom and Jace and asked:

\- We're going to Idris?

\- Yes – Maryse said sadly.

\- So... Magnus can go?

\- Yes, he got a special permission. Everyone's ready? Magnus, could you make a Portal for us?

\- Of course, Maryse – he made it for us and after a couple seconds we were in Idris. Magnus opened his mouth.

\- Pretty impressive, huh? - I said and stroked him discreetly on the back.

\- You're okay? - he asked, looking into my eyes.

\- I will be. Can we go? - I took Izzy's hand.

\- Sure, Alec – Maryse answered and we went to the cementary.

During the whole ceremony I couldn't even think. I was staring at the floor and my shoes, trying not to cry. Magnus was stroking my hand with his magic all the time, knowing that it helps me a lot. Finally THIS moment came. I had to go and cover Max with layer of wet ground. The coffin was open and I literally had legs like jelly when I was walking to the place when my brother was laying. I felt all eyes on my back. I knelt in front of the coffin and stopped breathing. Max's face was so peaceful and his hair messy as always. I bit my lower lip not to pass out and closed the coffin. It was so quiet that the sound when I did it was like an explosion. Couple members of the Clave put the coffin into the big hole in the ground and someone gave me the shovel. My knees bowed under me and next what I felt were Magnus' arms sustaining me in upright position. He moved his hand and a lot of ground covered the coffin. I burst into tears, hiding my face in Bane's neck. He wrapped his arm around my waist and took me from the cementary. I couldn't catch my breath, I felt cold sweat on my back and warm hands on my waist.

\- It's okay... Shhhh... It's fine, my flower, it's fine... - he was stroking my head and whispering. I almost forgot about people being couple meters from us and snuggled into warlock's arms.

\- I wanna go home... I just... I can't...

\- I know. I'll take you wherever you want. We can go to the California or...

\- Magnus Bane! - we heard suddenly. I pushed Magnus away stronger than I wanted and he almost fall on the ground. We weren't alone anymore. In front of us were standing the most important members of the Clave. And the Inquisitor who was speaking - You are accused of causing the death of a minor Shadowhunter's child, Max Lightwood. We're taking you to the Silent Brothers' prison with immediate effect - I felt like I was in big, closed ball made of glass and there wasn't any air. Suddenly Jace was holding me in one side and Izzy on another. I saw a shock on Magnus' face.

\- Are you insane? - he asked – I almost saved his life!

\- And the Book of the White? Don't you know it's illegal?

\- I didn't use it – he was speaking calmly – All I used was my energy and magic.

\- He is right! - I wrenched out my siblings and went to the Inquisitor – I was there. I helped him!

\- Were you there when young Lightwood was dying?

\- I... - I choked – No. But I know Magnus.

\- You KNOW him? You have no idea what he did in the past, Alexander. Besides... Why do you care about him?

\- He is... uhm... my friend.

\- Friend?

\- Yes – I nodded nervously – Please do not take him.

\- Your words mean nothing, Shadowhunter.

\- I'm old enough to speak and be heard – I answered, trying not to look at Bane.

\- My decision is still current. Take him – the Inquisitor said to people who were holding Magnus and they disappeared with him, using the portal. I didn't know what to do. I turned around, looking for some help from my siblings but they were just standing there with sad faces. I felt someone's hand on my shoulder. Maryse.

\- Come on, Alec, nothing here for us.

\- No... No way... I'm not going anywhere... I need to see Magnus...

\- Alexander! - she raised her voice – We're going. Now.

\- Give me your hand – sweet Isabelle's voice in my ear and her fingers holding mine.

I have no clue how we got into the Institute, but after I was in my room the first thing I did was call Magnus. Once, twice. A dozen times. And nothing.

Then Izzy came and sat next to me, embracing my waist and snuggling.

\- All of this... This is... my fault... - I was sobbing.

\- What are you talking about?

\- Max died... because of me... I couldn't help... And then... The Clave took Magnus... Also because of me... I couldn't defend him...

\- Alec, don't blame yourself... It's not true...

\- Leave me alone... Please...

\- But...

\- Izzy!

\- Okay! Okay, but... Maybe I'll ask Jace to come here?

\- No one.

\- Even Jace?

\- Even him.

\- Tell me if... you know... - she stood up, stroking my shoulder.

\- I'm fine.

\- As always... - Isabelle murmured and left me with my thoughts. I've never felt so exhausted before and in the same time I knew I won't be able to fall asleep. My heart was in little pieces, I couldn't breathe and not to mention calm down. I was crying without any break, my head was like a big hammer and drum and my throat was hoarse like hell.

I squeezed a pillow and rolled over onto my stomach. That was the first night I couldn't sleep.

At 5 am I decided to wake up and at least drink hot coffee to keep myself alive. I went down to the kitchen, made some coffee and drank the whole mug, didn't even notice that it was almost boiling. I had no idea what to do with my exhausted body so I went outside, looking for some sun. Unlucky for me, it was rainy. But I was so numb that didn't even care about it. I sat on the bench, letting the rain wash my face and make my clothes wet and cold. After some time I heard Jace, calling me very desperately. He had to look for me in the whole Institute...

\- Here you are! - he screamed, seeing me – Alec, are you crazy? You're gonna be sick!

\- I won't – I answered, closing my eyes.

\- Alec, my _parabatai_... Please. Did you sleep at all? - I shook my head – Eat?

\- Coffee.

\- You can't just sit here, in the rain... Hey, I'm worrying about you.

\- Wow, that's new.

\- Stop being such an asshole and come back inside.

\- Because?

\- Because I need you. I need to talk to you. And... We have to figure out how to get Magnus out of jail.

\- It won't work.

\- How can you know that?!

\- I know. Clave keeps an eye on him all day all night.

\- Do you even care?

\- I DO! - I stood up furiously – You have no idea how much I care! Max was my brother! And Magnus... Magnus... - my voice broke suddenly – I don't know, it's not important, I care about him too! And everything what happened it's just my damn fault!

\- That's not true, Alec...

\- It is! - the tears on my face were mixing with the rain – You just don't get it! I'm the reason Magnus came here, I'm the reason he got the Book of the White, I'm the reason Max is dead because it was MY responsibility to watch him on our mission!

\- Come here, my brother – Jace said, pulling me to his chest and hugging – We were on that mission together and this was an accident...

\- But Hodge told me to take care of Max...

\- You weren't alone on this mission, Alec. It's our fault, besides... Well, actually that demon came out of nowhere... We couldn't know...

\- But Magnus...

\- Magnus is the High Warlock of Brooklyn. He can take care of himself – I had to admit he was right – Better? - he asked, looking at my face.

\- A little...

\- See? That's why you have _parabatai_ , Alexander.

\- Don't call me "Alexander".

\- Why?

\- Uhm...

\- Just for Magnus?

\- Yeah...

\- Speaking of Bane... Maybe you can tell me something about him?

\- What...?

\- Do you love him?

\- Jace! I... no, I...

\- You?

\- I don't know, we don't know each other very long but... I care about him and... I like... doing things... with him... - I blushed and Jace laughed.

\- Things? Like... - he moved closer and whispered to my ear – Having sex?

\- NO! - my face was literally like pure scarlet – Like... hugging... or... uhm... talking!

\- Wait, no sex? - he was trying to make me smile, I knew it – So maybe kissing?

\- Maybe...

\- I got ya!

\- Fine...

\- Is he a good kisser?

\- Mhm... - I was dreamy for a second – Yes!

\- What kind of kissing do you like? With a tongue? - his face was really weird and I finally bursts out laughing.

\- Jace, you're impossible!

\- I know, that's one of the things which make me perfect!

\- Sure, how could I even forget.

\- Sarcasm? You're gonna be alive!

\- Thank you – I sent him one of the most beautiful smile I have.

\- You're welcome. And now, come inside and make me breakfast because everyone's still sleeping and I'm hungry!

\- And you don't have your own two hands?

\- I do, but they are too precious to use them to that kind of stuff.

\- Of course. Come on, lazy.

* * *

\- You have what?

\- An idea – Izzy, Jace and I were sitting in her room with mugs full of hot cinnamon tea – I mean... Magnus is in Silent City... And we know couple Silent Brothers, like Brother Jeremiah, Zachariah... Maybe we can ask them for help.

\- It's never gonna work... - I sighed, blowing into my mug.

\- Why?

\- You're planning to sneak into Silent City and visit Magnus without catching?

\- No – she said softly – Sometimes a magic word "please" can make a lot of good. At least we can try, right?

\- So... when?

\- Maybe after you get some sleep?

\- I'm not tired...

\- You didn't sleep at all! - Jace interjected – You'll pass out there.

\- I'll be fine. I just wanna see him – I said hardly, finishing my tea – Suit up, we're going – after a couple minutes we were ready, walking down the hallway when Hodge showed up from nowhere.

\- Where are you going, young Shadowhunters?

\- We're... - Izzy started.

\- Taking Alec for a walk – Jace said, smiling insincerely – He's so pale, he needs...

\- It's rainy – Hodge raised his eyebrow – But fine, go.

\- Thanks – Isabelle murmured, clearly embarrassed by lying our trainer. We left the Institute and after fifteen minutes we got to Silent City.

 _\- What do you need, young Lightwoods?_ \- we all heard this voice in our heads.

\- We came here to ask for a favor... for our brother, Alexander Lightwood – Isabelle said bravely. Suddenly we saw the brother Jeremiah.

 _\- I know why you're here, Alexander –_ I noticed he said it just for me – _You want to see your warlock._

\- He's not my warlock... - I muttered under my breath – But yeah. I wanted to see Magnus Bane, the High Warlock of Brooklyn.

 _\- You know, Lightwoods, that it's breaking a law?_

\- We do – Jace said and put his hand on my arm – But we are still asking about it.

 _\- Make a vow Clave won't know._

\- I swear for an Angel Raziel – I said, then Izzy and finally Jace.

 _\- Alexander, come with me –_ I heard, again just in my head and looked at my siblings.

\- Will you wait for me?

\- Don't rush – my sister smiled to me and I followed brother Jeremiah. He went to the dungeons which serve as a prison and I covered my arms with my jacket tighter immediately, because there was cold as on Arctic or something.

 _\- Mister Bane is here, you can talk to him. I'll leave you. Will you find a way back?_

\- I will, thank you Silent Brother – I nodded and when we left me I called loudly – Magnus? MAGNUS!

\- Who's asking? I told you, I didn't...

\- Magnus! - I saw him in one of couple wards and ran up to the bars – Magnus, oh my God, I was worrying so much... - unknowingly I began to cry, snuggling my cheek in the bars separating me from the warlock.

\- Alexander... - he was shocked seeing me here – You... You came here? - he reached his hand and stroked my cheek.

\- I'm here... I'm here...

\- Hey, don't cry... I'm fine! - his thumb wiping my tears, made me just more hysterical.

\- It's all my fault, I'm so sorry, you shouldn't be here and I... - he silenced me, stroking my lips with his finger tip.

\- Shhhh, darling. I'm fine, believe me – I touched his hand.

\- Come closer... Please... I need to see your face – he did it and I saw dark circles under his eyes – How are you feel?

\- Perfect.

\- What?

\- My sweet Alexander came to visit me... Could be better? - he smiled softly – But tell me, sunshine, how are you? - I shrugged.

\- Devastated...

\- Oh my... why?

\- Are you really asking...? Max... You...

\- I told you I'm okay... Alec, look at me – I lifted my head and our eyes met – I don't want you to worry about me. It's not your fault and I'll get out of here sooner than you think...

\- I wish I can kiss you right now... - I whispered and felt soft brush of magic on my lips – Not like that...

\- I know, this is all I can do right now. My magic doesn't work, I just can make this, nothing more.

\- Hey, where's your jacket? - I noticed he had not any sweater or jacket or whatever – Aren't you cold?

\- I'm fine.

\- No way – I took of my leather – Take mine.

\- Alec...

\- Don't discuss and get dressed right now... flower – I blushed and I cursed in my mind. Damn this blush...

\- Yes, daddy – he made funny face and we laughed together. Then he took my hands into his and sighed.

\- I miss you – I said, looking into his catlike eyes.

\- It's just one day, Alexander – he seemed to be amused and I immediately felt another blush of shame on my face.

\- Right...

\- Hey, I'm kidding. Look at me.

\- No.

\- Alec... Please. You're gotta go for a moment.

\- Fine, you won – he smiled to me.

\- Alec, I...

\- What?

\- You need to know... we don't know each other very long... but I... I think I...

\- Look, Magnus – I interrupted him, feeling like my heart was gonna jump out of my chest and run away – I... I have a... question.

\- Mhm?

\- Can I stay in your apartment? - _you'll die, Alec_

\- What...?

\- I'll take care of Chairman Meow... and... I don't know... I just... I can't withstand in the Institute...

\- You're gorgeous, candy – he removed a strand of my hair from my forehead – Of course you can. Wait there for me.

\- And the key?

\- I have mine in my pocket... Here – he gave me it.

\- Time to go...?

\- You should... Clave can't know, otherwise they will punish both of us...

\- I know... I just... Don't wanna leave you.

\- Come here – he grabbed my hands and pulled me as close as he could. The warmth of his body intertwined with the cold grates – I... - he hesitated – Nothing. Nevermind.

\- I'm waiting for you, so hurry up – I joked.

\- You know what I wanna tell you, right?

\- Magnus...

\- Let me.

\- Here?

\- Do we need a special place?

\- N... no...

\- Alec, I'm... I think I'm falling for you – he whispered with his eyes closed.

\- Magnus...

\- You don't have to answer.

\- But I... I want.

\- So...?

\- Me too – I was always bad at expressing feelings, but this... - I mean...

\- I got it. Shhh. Don't screw this – his eyes now glowing in the darkness – We're on the good way, darling.

\- And now I have to come back to your empty loft... - I sighed – Without even a hug... - I felt little sparkle on my cheek and then on lips – You know it's not enough...

\- It's something. Hold on, I'll come back really soon. Promise.

\- Think about me sometimes – I turned around.

\- Always. Hey, you forgot your jacket!

\- Keep it.

\- Thanks.

\- If you stay here longer than I can withstand... I'll come again.

\- Sure.

\- Bye!

\- Goodbye, Alexander.

* * *

I'm sorry you had to wait so long. I already have 11 chapters but I'm my own beta so it takes time to check everything but I promise next chapters will be sooner :) AND OMG THANKS FOR 1K views! Awesome! :D Let me know if u like it!


	7. INFO

NOTE FOR EVERYONE!

I'll finish this, I promise. I am so sorry for so long break, I have already couple chapters so be ready soon for an update. Really soon.

Have a nice day everyone :)


	8. Chapter 7

**CHAPTER 7**

" **Once I was someone who longed"**

After three days (which I spent on demon hunting mostly) I got a letter from Magnus.

"Dear Alexander!

I hope you're okay. I'm still in this cool (sarcasm) jail, because Clave is too lazy to get me out of here. They have no idea how much they'll pay me after all of this as a compensation. But enough about me – how are you, my sweet little flower? I hope you don't worry too much, because there's nothing to be worry about, I swear. I still have your jacket, it's super warm and keeps me alive in here. How's living in my apartment? Chairman Meow misses me at least a little? Remember, don't feed him with a ham from lower part of the fridge, he always has a stomachache after eating this.

I'll be back soon and can't wait to see you!

Magnus Bane

P.S. Think about me sometimes, candy"

Brother Jeremiah told me I can answer him, so I did it immediately because I knew it was gonna help Magnus even just a little bit.

"Magnus!

I'm pretty fine, your apartment in awesome and yes, Chairman misses you a lot. I remember about ham thing – he gets only his Whiskas, believe me.

You can keep this jacket, I have a couple in my wardrobe. I think I'll talk to Clave, you can't sit there forever, waiting for... I don't even know. I think about you a lot, don't worry about that. What can I say... hold on there and... and we'll see each other soon.

Alec

P.S. Okay, I changed my mind about the signature - look, what I'm doing for you :

Alexander"

As I wrote I went to Maryse after sending my letter.

\- Mom, I have a question...

\- What happened, Alec? - she didn't even lift her head up, she was very busy – Hurry up, I have a lot of work.

\- I need to talk to Clave.

\- About Magnus?

\- Yes. I wanna testify under oath. With Angel Sword.

\- Are you out of your mind? - she raised her voice, looking into my eyes. Her look could burn me and change into the pile of ash.

\- I'm not a liar. I just wanna... get my... friend back – I hoped she didn't hear that hesitation – I'll just tell what happened there, Magnus will be free and I will have a clean conscience. Please, mom.

\- Fine, you're an adult, it's all your responsibility. Understood?

\- Of course. So... when?

\- I guess Clave would probably say "tomorrow" so get some sleep and get ready – suddenly she hugged me tightly – I love you my big, brave son.

\- I love you too – I whispered, very surprised – See you.

* * *

Next day was officially the day of my interrogation. I was very stressed but also happy that finally Magnus will get out of jail. Izzy was holding my hand when we were walking into the City of Bones. Silent Brothers and members of the Clave were there already.

 _Alexander Lightwood –_ I heard in my head – _Make a vow._

\- I, Alexander Gideon Lightwood, swear on the Angel Sword to say the truth, just the truth and nothing but the truth – I closed my eyes and couple second after I felt cold tip of the sword touching my head. Then my mind suddenly full of whiteness, no strength in my body and a lot of memories slipping through my head. I saw all Lightwoods on mission, the day when Max was born, my birthday, Clary with Jace, and a lot of different situations. Suddenly I felt like someone pressed the 'pause' button and I saw me and Magnus, kissing and snuggling.

 _I guess it's a memory you wanna keep for yourself?_ \- I heard a voice but didn't know from where. It wasn't a Silent Brother...

\- I guess... Yes – I whispered – It's nothing but...

 _I know your heart, young Shadowhunter. You should get to know it too. Because of your pure heart and love burning inside you I won't let them know about Magnus. These memories are yours._ \- The voice disappeared from my head sooner than it appeared and my head was again flooded by memories. It was happening longer than I thought but finally I saw sweet, pleasant darkness inviting me to join it. I agreed. But only just for a second, because then someone slapped me and screamed:

\- Alec! - I recognized Isabelle's voice.

\- I'm fine... - I opened my eyes and stood up.

\- How are you feel, bro? - Jace showed up next to my sister.

\- Fine, I just have a headache... What's happening? - I noticed Clave and Silent Brothers talking about something very loudly.

\- Well, they're asking about your memories. What happened in the middle, Alec? You whispered something...

\- Izzy... It's nothing... I don't remember – I lied, feeling cold chills on my back. Jace saw it and gave me his jacket – Thanks...

\- Fine – this raspy voice I'd recognize even at 3 am. Inquisitor – We checked all your memories, Alexander and we decided to acknowledge Magnus Bane as innocent. He can get out of prison – I felt tons of butterflies dancing in my stomach and grinned. After a while Brother Zachariah entered the room with the warlock behind him. A wave of relief washed over me and I didn't even think – I ran and snuggled into his arms, tightly, stroking his face.

\- Magnus... - I whispered, happy like never before.

\- Alec... The whole Clave is watching us...

\- Yeah... - I blushed, letting him go – Sorry... - he smiled reassuringly and squeezed my hand discretely. The Inquisitor and the rest of Clave looked like they were going to kill me.

\- What was that? - someone asked.

\- I'm happy I got my friend back – I murmured underneath my breath, staring at the floor.

\- Right, can we go? I'm tired – Magnus asked loudly.

\- Sure, you're free to go – Inquisitor sighed and turned back to the rest of Clave.

\- Alec... - Izzy came closer, giggling – You need to learn how to control your reactions.

\- It's just... - my cheeks were like scarlet.

\- A month with Bane and I don't recognize you!

\- Is it bad...?

\- No, actually. You're better now – she ruffled my hair – Bolder, more open for people... Magnus is good for you.

\- Did you have second thoughts about it? - warlock interjected, wrapping his arm around my waist.

\- You look cute together – suddenly Clary was walking with us – Are you a couple?

\- What? - I choked my own saliva – No! We're just...

\- Hanging out – Magnus helped me with a smile, but his sight was telling me "We need to talk". I bit my lower lip, feeling a blush of shame crawling on my face. _You fucked up, Lightwood._

\- Wish you luck – she shrugged and went to Jace. Finally we were outside and I could breathe fresh air.

\- So, Alexander... - I felt Magnus' warm breath on my ear and trembled – My apartment or... - I didn't let him finish, literally sucking his lips and embracing his waist. I heard Izzy's snort and Jace's giggle but couldn't care less. I had my man and that's all that mattered.

Bane's tongue shifted on my lower lip and I opened my mouth, letting him in. He purred with pleasure, pulling me closer. After a moment we moved away from each other, flushed.

\- I missed you so much – I panted, touching his neck.

\- I know, I missed you to... But maybe we should go before you eat me on the street – he stroked my cheek and grabbed my hand – My loft?

\- Oh please... - I whined, stretching my back – Izzy, Jace, you're gonna be fine?

\- Looks like we're not the ones who need someone to take care of them – my _parabatai_ winked to me and they went in other direction together.

\- So... you wanna walk, or you can't restrain your lust anymore? - he joked, chuckling quietly.

\- You're so funny – I said pityingly – Walk.

\- Mmm... I was sure you would say 'a portal' because... - he moved closer – Kissing on the street could be weird, especially with my look right now – I just noticed how he looked like. His clothes were dirty, his make-up was smudged and I couldn't see even a little bit of glitter.

\- A Portal then. Sorry – I answered and a second after we were at Bane's.

\- Let me take a shower, and... wait for me in bed.

\- Are we gonna... - I felt hope.

\- No, Alec – he said calmly – After all these days in cold dungeons the only thing I dream about is to lay down on my comfortable bed with you in my arms. Sounds good?

\- Sure – I smiled and went to the bedroom. I had enough time to read couple articles in today's paper and then...

 _Oh my sweet Raziel..._

Magnus was standing in front of me, just in the towel wrapped around his hips. I felt a lot of warmth going south so I closed my eyes. Didn't help.

\- Get dressed... Please...

\- Mhm – he smiled, bending over and kissing me. That was too much. I pulled him on me, kissing his lips with passion and desire. I touched his still wet back and moved my hands lower. Magnus squealed, trying to hold the towel.

\- Ale...xan...der... - he moaned during the break in kissing – We can't...

\- I told you to get dressed... You didn't listen – my hands were stroking his lower abdomen. I was SO close.

\- Stop – he snapped and some invisible strength pushed me away from him, not firmly but still.

\- Magnus! - I was so angry – Why do you keep doing this?! - he didn't answer, getting dressed. After a while he had his shorts and a T-shirt.

\- Can we sleep together or you are too pissed of for this? - he said tiredly and I felt like an asshole.

\- Sure, I'm not mad – I kissed his forehead – I'm sorry.

\- It's okay. You know we need to talk?

\- I know – I snuggled into his warm arms – Goodnight, Magnus.

\- Night, my sweet Nephilim.

* * *

When I woke up the first thing I felt was warm breath on my neck and arms wrapped around my body. I smiled lightly, turning my head a little and saw Magnus who was still sleeping. I couldn't resist from kissing his sweet, raspberry lips.

I got out of bed and went to the kitchen.

\- Hello, Chairman! - I stroked his soft head – Hungry? - I poured him a whole bowl of his Whiskas and started looking for some food to make breakfast for me and Magnus. I noticed it's really early, couple minutes after 6 am so Bane's probably gonna sleep two or three hours more. When I didn't find anything edible (I don't count pizza as a breakfast) I took my wallet and went to the store. Shopping is one of these things I hate the most so I tried to bustle as much as I could, unfortunately for me queue was pretty long so I went back only after 7 am.

I decided to make omelets with dried tomatoes. Sometimes I make them for my siblings and they like this kind of breakfast so Magnus should too. I also brewed some coffee and squeezed orange juice. Like I thought Magnus showed up at 8 am. He looked so charmingly in his stripped shorts and white T-shirt. I've never seen him without make-up, hair spray and tons of glitter before, so this view was priceless.

\- Alexander...? - he was really surprised – You made breakfast?

\- I did – I embraced him tightly and gave him a gentle kiss – You look so good right now... - I murmured.

\- Are you kidding?

\- No, I'm not. This is the first time I can see the real you – I brushed his tangled hair from forehead.

\- I am real...

\- You are, but now you're even more. Besides, I'm inviting you for breakfast, come on – we smiled to each other and sat opposite.

\- You really made this? - Magnus asked a moment later with his mouth full. I laughed.

\- Yes, you know when you have someone like Izzy who's dishes count as a radioactive waste, you have to learn how to cook to survive.

\- Got it... I prefer something like this, you know, snapping and...

\- Stealing? - I raised my eyebrow in ironic way.

\- I don't steal... I... borrow!

\- Mhm, for eternal not-give-back – I was openly laughing, almost spitting up myself.

\- You're so unkind... - he made sad face but laughed also – You're staying longer?

\- No, I have to spend some time with Izzy, I promised her.

\- You're leaving me...

\- Sorry.

\- About leaving... Alec... We need to talk.

\- I know. So?

\- So?

\- You wanted to talk.

\- Right, uhm... First, about "hanging out" - he made a quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

\- You're really ask me to tell Clave I'm... I like... Boys... And I'm seeing a warlock?

\- Warlock...

\- It's not what you think! I don't care who you are, you can be a mundaine, a faerie, a warlock, whatever. It doesn't matter. But you know what matters? The fact that Clave can take my runes and send me into exile. Exclude me from my family. Deprive my name and stele. This is what you want for me? Really, it bothers you no one knows about our...

\- Exactly. Our what?

\- Why are you so cold right now, Magnus? Everything is... pretty new for me... I never had someone who looked at me the way you do... I never been kissed before you... I didn't believe that I can find a real love... And then you showed up in my life and everything turned 180 degrees... I broke all the walls I built around my heart... And I did it for you... - my voice was really quiet, I have no clue did Magnus hear me or not – And I'm just looking for acceptance... I'm afraid to feel right now. I'm afraid that if I love again, next heartbreak will kill me... Emotions cloud judgment... I always believed in this... But I don't know anymore... You are here, telling me I'm an awesome guy who deserves for love... We know each other just a month and I already feel my heart does something weird when you're around... But you can't expect from me that I'll just go and shout to the whole world "I'm gay, I'm seeing a warlock!"... I can't do this. I can't go that fast. And if you don't want me like this... I'll just leave you... I don't have to be here... And it's probably the longest speech you heard from me... So...

\- Alexander... - Bane's voice was shaking – Come here – he stood up and wait until I snuggled into his arms – Never think I don't want you. Never. And I know you are afraid, I know this is new for you. I'm sorry I forgot. We can go as slow or fast as you want. I'm never gonna judge you, because I l... I like you because I like you, not because you are this or that. And... - he forced me to look into his catlike eyes – If you ever... feel something for me... don't hide it. I'll never hurt you.

\- I don't... feel... anything special – I answered and saw the pain on his face.

* * *

\- Of course... - I let him out of my arms and turned around. I didn't know what to do so I was just standing.

\- Magnus... - I heard his frightened voice.

\- Uhm?

\- I... I just... Can you look at me...?

\- Don't force yourself to f... - and then he shut me up with a deep kiss.

\- I'm not forcing myself... I'm just not ready to say it loudly. But I can show you – A Shadowhunter pulled me closer, going under my shirt with his hands.

\- Wait... So this is all about?

\- Wh...at?

\- This whole sex thing – he blushed hardly when I said THAT word – You want this... Because you don't know how to express your feelings for me?

\- No... I mean... Maybe... But... You'd say I'm a stupid kid, I can't... I can't... - I don't know when and why he started crying.

\- Alec... sweetie... - I hugged him tightly – I'm not going anywhere. I care about you. Love is not about forcing yourself because of the fear of rejection... Love is about... Trust – I stroked his hair – It's more like symptoms. You know, when you're blushing every time he says something nice about you... - I touched his neck and he trembled – You're shaking every time he pronounces your name... - my hand moved on his back and I lowered my voice to a whisper – And you can feel your heart beats faster than ever, when he's close enough that you can touch him... - Alec was breathing heavily and loudly, his cheeks were flushed and his eyes closed – I know you feel what I feel.

\- S... so... - he stammered – What... I feel...?

\- Love – I whispered straight to his ear and moved away from him, cleaning dishes from the table. I couldn't see Alexander's face but I was pretty sure it was like scarlet. I put the dishes into a dishwasher and leaned against the table. My dear Shadowhunter was still in the same place, totally shocked.

\- I... I have to go... - suddenly he said nervously – I really gotta go.

\- Sure – I was amused. I knew I unlocked something in him, I told him something about his feelings, now it's his job to sort all of this out in his heart – Maybe kiss?

\- I really... - I snapped and he suddenly in front of me, in my embrace

\- Really? - our faces were very close

\- N... need to...

\- Mhm... - I smiled, slipping my tongue between his lips. He didn't resist too much, he knew we both want it. After a while I said:

\- I'll leave you alone today... But tomorrow we're going on a date.

\- D... what? A... date?

\- A date – I nodded with satisfaction – Problem?

\- Not... not at all – he calmed down a little bit.

\- So, see your tomorrow, my flower – I kissed his cheek – I'll text you in the evening.

\- Sure... - ha answered and literally ran away from my apartment. I laughed, very happy. Success!

* * *

 **10.03 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **What are u doing, sweetheart?**

 **10.06 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Came back from shower**

 **10.08 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Nice to know ;) I'm lying in my bed and thinking 'bout u**

 **10.15 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Is it... nice?**

 **10.16 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **U have no idea ;) What took you so long to answer?**

 **10.20 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Idk... didn't know what 2 say**

 **10.21 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **U r thinking too much. Flirt isn't about thinking**

 **10.23 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **R we flirting?**

 **10.25 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Are we? ;) Tell me**

 **10.26 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I can't...**

 **10.28 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **We're both lying in bed, after shower, it's late... close your eyes and imagine**

 **10.30 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **W...what?**

 **10.31 PM**

 **See, already working ;)**

 **10:32 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Imagine everything you want. Something that... turns you on e.g ;)**

 **10.33 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I don't think it's appropriate**

 **10.35 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **It's your head and your phone. Your decision. I can help**

 **10.37 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **How... do you wanna help...?**

 **10.39 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Well, I can give you some... things to think about. Like your chills when I was whispering to your ear today**

 **10.41 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **BANE!**

 **10.42 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Let yourself. You're alone, nobody will see you**

 **10.43 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **...well...keep talking**

 **10.45 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Maybe u can think about your hands traveling all over my body**

 **10.47 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I'm... Magnus, I...**

 **10.49 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **I know. It's okay**

 **10.50 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Don't stop**

 **10.51 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **So u can also think about our lips working together...**

 **10.53 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Tell me...**

 **10.55 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **What?**

 **10.58 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **More**

I felt how fast my heart was beating. I knew where we were going and where Alec was (or maybe I was wrong but...) and I just had to play it well.

 **11.01 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Maybe I can tell you how sweet and soft your lips are?**

 **11.04 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **What... what else?**

 **11.06 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **How hard your muscles are or...**

 **11.07 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Or what?**

 **11.09 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **How sexy you are**

 **11.13 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **God, Magnus... I... I just...**

 **11.14 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Believe me, I know.**

 **11.15 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Was it nice?**

 **11.17 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **What do u think?**

 **11.18 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **That I can do it better ;)**

 **11.20 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **...oh my Raziel**

 **11.21 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Problem? ;)**

 **11.23 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **No. Just... you told me...**

 **11.24 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **I know what I said. But I did nothing, I was just texting. You did the whole job.**

 **11.26 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **It was never... so...**

 **11.28 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Shhhh ;)**

 **11:29 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Time 2 sleep, my dear**

 **11.31 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **No way I'm gonna fall asleep after... this**

 **11.33 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **It was PLEASURE to help you, Alexander ;)**

 **11.35 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **I'll never look into ur eyes again**

 **11.37 PM**

 **To: Alec**

 **Next time we'll do the fun part together then ;) Gnight, my dear ;)**

I turned off my phone before he text me back. Oh my Lord... I... pleased Alec... with texting... And he really... told me he did it...

I couldn't believe in that. My shy Alec just... oh god, I couldn't even breathe. Admittedly we didn't text anything directly, but at the same time we both – me and him – knew what was going on. Alec knew what he was doing. And he did it, without hesitation. I wish I could see his face while doing this, maybe next time... I mean someday. Someday.

Chairman Meow jumped on my bed and laid on my chest. I scratched him behind the ears and sighed.

\- You know, Chairman, after all of this Alec won't speak to me until next year or longer... Lucky, we're going on date tomorrow – with this thought I fell asleep.

* * *

When I was waiting for Alexander next day I was nervous as hell. I didn't even know if he'd come...

But he did. On time. In the black suit. And flushed face.

\- Hi... - he said shyly

\- Hi, darling – I kissed his cheek – Are you ready?

\- Are you? - he answered teasingly

\- Mhm – I grabbed Alec's hand and we went outside – So, Alexander... Did you sleep well?

\- I... uhm... - I had something like: " _ohgoshheistoocutetobealive"_ in my head _–_ Yeah.

\- Maybe you can tell me why? - I decided to continue my flirt.

\- B... because... someone... helped me... before...

\- Oh yeah?

\- I even texted back as a last one, he didn't answer me.

\- Because... - I whispered to his ear – He was too glad to answer – a Shadowhunter trembled, squeezing my hand harder.

\- So maybe... he should do this now... I mean... He should check it... – his face burning with shame, which was very adorable. I pulled of my phone and checked the last sms:

 **11.40 PM**

 **To: Magnus**

 **Can be nice. Night, Magnus**

I smiled and looked at him.

\- You're so sweet, Alec, you have no idea.

\- Where are we going?

\- Remember that concert I invited you?

\- But... Wasn't it a week ago or something?

\- It was, we're going on a different one.

\- And then?

\- It depends – I lowered my voice

\- On what...?

\- Time, me, you...

\- So I will be able to decide?

\- You will and me too. Deal?

\- Deal – he laughed and we were walking in silence. Alec didn't let go of my hand even for a moment which I decided to consider this as a success.

\- It's here? - he asked when we stood in front of big, elegant theater.

\- Yes, honey. Come on – we left our jackets in the cloakroom and took our sits. When the lights went down I put my hand on Alec's knee and started stroking him gentle. The band was literally amazing, I could see how focused Lightwood was, how his eyes were watching everything, but in the same time he was relaxed and calm. I forgot to control my hands so when Alexander hissed, I saw that I'm dangerously high on his thigh. Too high.

\- Sorry... - I whispered and blushed, I guess for a very first time since a long time. I noticed that because of this Alec couldn't focus as much as earlier, his gaze directed once on the stage, once on my hand. Finally, he couldn't resist and put his hand on mine, keeping it in one place. But I wouldn't be Magnus Bane if I gave up so easily. I began to make a little circles on his wrist with my thumb, and he closed his eyes. That was so awesome – just a little caress could cause that kind of reactions.

\- Magnus... - I heard and felt a whiff of his breath on my neck – Please, I can't focus...

\- I'm not doing anything inappropriate, sweetheart – I smiled to him and looked at the stage, still stroking his skin. After a moment my fingers started climbing on his arm up to his neck. Alexander didn't say a word, but I could see he was trying to be calm and self-possessed. I came back on his knee and now (on purpose) touched his thigh. I literally heard Alec's breathing, fast and nervous. I decided to risk and moved my hand on his stomach, "accidentally" nudging his crotch. He jumped on his chair and hit my hand, with his face flushed,

\- Are you out of your mind? - okay, he was really angry – We're not alone!

\- Fine, I'll be a good boy – I snuggled to his arm and for the rest of concert didn't say anything.

After that I started typical conversation:

\- Alec, what do you think about the concert?

\- This music was amazing, I like the violin the most, that girl was incredible! But your behavior wasn't... - he blushed.

\- Why? - I asked with my angel voice

\- Magnus, two things. First, you can't do something like this in public. And second... you shouldn't do it at all. You told me you don't want us to... you know.

\- I know, I'm sorry... I just love your reactions...

\- What now? - he interrupted me, grinning.

\- Candlelit dinner?

\- How romantic... Magnus, I've never...

\- Hey – I embraced him – It's okay. We don't have to.

\- But I want. I'm just... afraid.

\- Will be fine, I promise. Come on – I led him to very exclusive restaurant, I took a table for two and gave our jackets to cloakroom.

\- So, Alexander... - I gave him a menu – Wine?

\- Can be... - he was definitely too stressed.

\- Red, white, dry, semi-sweet.

\- Uhm... - his eyes were bigger than plates.

\- Okay, I'll choose – I winked to him and ordered my favourite wine – Alec.

\- Mhm? - I noticed when he is stressed he doesn't talk too much.

\- Relax – I stroked his hand.

\- Easy to say... - he murmured and I discreetly snapped my fingers. Lightwood breathed and smiled to me.

\- So, Magnus – there's my boy, a little bit of magic and here we are – Maybe you can tell me something about your travels?

* * *

Back on truck, Malec lovers 3 I hope you enjoy this chapter. 8 is coming... let's say... give me two days :) Don't forget to comment :)


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